Union Square Bars: Where to Sip Like You Know What You’re Doing

If you’re reading this, you’re probably post-work, thirsty, and slightly overqualified to ask for recommendations. Lucky for you, we’ve done the hard part: vetted the best bars near Union Square for people who want to drink like they’re in a rom-com, not a horror movie. Spoiler: most of these places have good beer, bad decisions, and zero judgment when you order a third round.

Let’s be real: finding the “best” bar is like asking what kind of cheese tastes best in a toaster oven. It depends on your vibe. Are you here to impress a date? Pretend you know what a craft cocktail is? Or just survive your coworker’s 40th birthday? We’ve got you covered—and by covered, we mean we’ve saved you from walking into a bar that serves only micheladas and regret.

But first: make your own beer at home, then come back here and flex. Just don’t blame us when you spill it on your shoes.

1. The Craft Cocktails That’ll Make You Question Your Life Choices

Let’s start with the bars that treat mixing drinks like it’s an Olympic sport. These are the spots where the bartender knows your blood type and the menu changes more than your dating app profile.

Bar Name: “The Vaporous Vortex”

What it is: A speakeasy that smells like basil and regret.

Why you’re here: Because you want to pretend you’re in a noir film, not a Netflix reboot.

Standout drink: The “I Don’t Do Shots” martini—basically a $16 apology for your life choices.

Pro tip: Ask for the “Union Square Special.” It’s on the menu, but only if you whisper the password. (Spoiler: it’s not “abracadabra.”)

Need to know: Grow Your Business With Strategies Beer if you’re thinking of opening one of these.

2. The Dive Bars Where You Can Pretend You Don’t Know What ‘Craft’ Means

Okay, maybe you’re not in the mood for artisanal anything. You just want a beer, a dart board, and a place to say, “This isn’t my first rodeo,” even if it is. Here’s where to go:

Bar Name: “The Rusty Nail”

What it is: A bar where the jukebox has more personality than the bartender.

Why you’re here: Because you’re here for the vibe, not the kale smoothies.

Standout drink: The “I Don’t Do Shots” (again, but cheaper). Served in a mug that’s seen better days.

Pro tip: Ask for a “Union Square Special” here too. It’s just bud light and regret, but it’ll cost you $3.50.

Need to know: Custom Beer if you want to make your own cheap beer.

3. The Bars That Will Let You Pretend You’re in Brooklyn (But You’re Not)

Let’s face it: Union Square is the liminal space between Manhattan and “whatever happened to New York?” These bars are here to bridge that gap with Brooklyn vibes, Manhattan prices, and zero Brooklyn credibility.

Bar Name: “The Hops and Hope”

What it is: A bar that thinks it’s trendy but smells like hops and desperation.

Why you’re here: Because you want to feel like you’re in a Brooklyn hipster documentary.

Standout drink: The “Brooklyn Brown Ale”—basically beer but with artisanal aspirations.

Pro tip: Order the “Union Square Special” here. It’s not on the menu, but if you act like you belong, they’ll make it for you.

Need to know: Home if you want to learn how to make a bar look like Brooklyn without the rent.

4. The Bars That Exist Primarily to Sell You Overpriced Wine

Let’s say you’re here for wine, not beer. Maybe you’re trying to be “sophisticated,” or you’re just out of your league and need a backup plan. These bars have your back.

Bar Name: “The Vineyard in the City”

What it is: A bar that thinks it’s a Parisian café but can’t afford the rent.

Why you’re here: Because you want to feel like you’re in a Wes Anderson movie.

Standout drink: The “Union Square Merlot”—$15, 100% less memorable than you hoped.

Pro tip: Ask for the “Union Square Special.” It’s not on the menu, but if you act like you belong, they’ll make it for you.

5. The Bars That Exist Primarily to Sell You Overpriced Wine (But Better)

Okay, we lied. These bars actually exist to sell you wine that tastes like it was made in a lab. But hey, at least the barista knows your name.

Bar Name: “The Cellar Door”

What it is: A bar that thinks it’s a wine cellar but smells like old books and bad decisions.

Why you’re here: Because you want to feel like you’re in a book club that only reads wine labels.

Standout drink: The “Union Square Chardonnay”—basically a $12 apology for your life choices.

Pro tip: Ask for the “Union Square Special.” It’s not on the menu, but if you act like you belong, they’ll make it for you.

Need to know: Contact if you want to discuss wine in a professional capacity.

FAQs: Because You’re Asking Questions You Shouldn’t Be

Q: What if I’m not into craft beer?

A: That’s fine. You can still drink. The bars listed above have at least three options for people who don’t know what a “IPA” is. And no, it’s not a typo. It’s an “India Pale Ale.” You’re welcome.

Q: What if I’m on a budget?

A: Look for the dive bars. They’re the cheapest and most likely to let you skip the tip if you act like you’re from out of town. Just don’t ask for a “Union Square Special” unless you’re ready to pay $4 for a beer that tastes like regret.

Q: What if I want to start my own bar?

A: Grow Your Business With Strategies Beer and sell your beer online through Dropt.beer. It’s the fastest way to go from “I want to open a bar” to “I’m out of business and need to borrow money from my parents.”

Final Tips: Because You Asked Nicely

• Always ask for the “Union Square Special”—it works in at least two of the bars listed here.
• Never order a drink named after a celebrity unless you’re sure it’s not a trap.
• Take a photo of the bar for social media, but don’t post it until you’ve had at least one drink to justify the filter.

Remember: the best bar near Union Square is the one where you don’t have to explain your life choices to the bartender. And if you do, they’ll just nod and pretend they understand.

Need more help? Contact us or check out our other guides on everything from how to make your own beer to how to sell it online. And if you’re feeling adventurous, try our custom beer guide. Who knows? You might just become the next big thing.

Happy sipping, and remember: the only thing better than a good bar is a good story about a bad bar. (We’ll take either, honestly.)