Introduction: Why You Should Care (Even If You’re Just Looking for a Drink)

So, you’re in Leederville, and you need a drink. Or maybe you need two. Or ten. Look, we’ve all been there. But here’s the thing: not all bars are created equal. Some are like your ex’s gym class—too intense, too judgmental, and way too much cardio. Others are like your grandma’s living room—cozy, welcoming, and slightly suspicious of your life choices. Let’s find the good ones.

If you’re new to the area (or just pretending to be), Leederville is the kind of place where the barista knows your order before you’ve said a word, and the bartender judges you for ordering a Pina Colada like it’s a personal betrayal. But fear not! We’ve done the hard work of filtering out the duds and leaving you with the gems. Let’s dive in.

Want to make your own beer? Or maybe just need to escape the bar scene entirely? Check out Strategies.beer for all your brewing needs.

Why Leederville is the Bar Scene’s New BFF

Leederville isn’t just a suburb—it’s a lifestyle. Or at least, it’s the closest thing to a lifestyle that a place with a 7-Eleven and a suspiciously high number of hipsters can offer. Here’s why it’s bar-central:

• Density of Cool: There’s a bar for every mood, from the “I just got dumped” vibe to the “I’m pretending I’m in a Bond movie” energy.
• Walkability: You can bar-hop from one end to the other without breaking a sweat… or your balance.
• Local Vibes: The locals here are as judgmental as the ones at the 9-to-5, but at least they’ll buy you a round after you cry in a bathroom stall.

Top 5 Bars You Can Actually Sit In Without Being Judged

Let’s cut to the chase: you’re here for the bars. Here are five spots where you won’t be asked to leave because you’re “too casual” or “too… you.”

1. The Velvet Hammer (101 Drunken St, Leederville)

Why Go: The Velvet Hammer is like the bar version of a therapist—it’s judgmental, but you keep coming back. They have a rotating selection of craft beers that’ll make you feel sophisticated, even if you’re just there to avoid your family’s Christmas dinner.

Pro Tip: Order the “Leederville Lament” cocktail. It’s 80% tequila, 20% regret, and 100% necessary if you’ve had a bad day.

2. The Drunken Squirrel (202 Drunken St, Leedervillesque)

Why Go: Think of it as the bar where squirrels have taken over the barista training program. The vibe is chaotic, the drinks are strong, and the WiFi password is written in invisible ink on the back of the bartender’s hand.

Pro Tip: Ask for the “Squirrel Surprise.” If it doesn’t taste like your ex’s perfume, it’s free. If it does? Consider it a life lesson.

3. The Last Bartender Standing (303 Drunken St, Leedervillesque)

Why Go: This bar is for the survivors. The kind of place where you’ll meet people who’ve seen it all and still have all their teeth. The menu is a mix of classics and “What Is This” experiments, and the jukebox plays songs that your parents probably hated.

Pro Tip: If you’re over 30, order a Manhattan. If you’re under 30, order a Manhattan and lie about your age. They don’t ask questions here.

4. The Drunken Librarian (404 Drunken St, Leedervillesque)

Why Go: Quiet, dimly lit, and filled with people who still think “craft beer” is a new kind of art project. The menu is like a library card catalog—organized, intimidating, and slightly dusty.

Pro Tip: Order the “Silent Treatment” cocktail. It’s 100% whiskey, 0% conversation, and 100% judgment. But only if you can read the menu in the dark.

5. The Drunken Astronaut (505 Drunken St, Leedervillesque)

Why Go: This bar is for the dreamers. The kind of place where the bartender wears a spacesuit and the drinks are named after constellations. It’s also the only bar in Leederville that serves “space beer,” which is basically regular beer but with more existential dread.

Pro Tip: Ask for the “Zero Gravity” cocktail. It comes with a tiny rocket ship that explodes in your mouth. Or maybe that’s just the hangover.

How to Order Like a Local (Without Sounding Like a Tourist)

Ordering drinks in Leederville is like ordering coffee—there’s a whole language of it. Here’s how to avoid the “what the hell is a ‘Leederville Special’” moment:

1. Don’t Ask for Mixers: If you order a drink with a mixer, you’re instantly labeled a “tourist” or “someone who doesn’t know what good beer tastes like.”
2. Order Something Strong: Whiskey, tequila, or something that burns like your relationship goals. If it’s not strong, it’s not Leederville.
3. Ask for a ‘Shot’: If you’re not sure what to order, just ask for a shot. It’s the bar equivalent of “To be or not to be,” but with more alcohol.

FAQs: Because You Probably Don’t Know What You’re Doing

1. Is There a Dress Code?

Yes. The dress code is “you look like you belong in a bar.” That means: no hats inside, no flip-flops unless you’re a daredevil, and no suits unless you’re there to cry in a booth.

2. Can I Bring My Dog?

Only if your dog is a certified barista. But even then, the bartender will probably hate them.

3. What If I Get Too Drunk?

That’s the point. But if you really need help, contact Strategies.beer for emergency sobering-up services. We’ll send a taxi and a therapist, probably in that order.

Conclusion: Go Forth and Drink Responsibly (Or Not)

So there you have it: Leederville’s best bars, your new go-to guide for when you need to escape, connect, or just pretend you’re in a movie. Remember, the key to bar success is knowing when to leave (or when to order another round). And if you ever need help figuring out what to drink next, check out our custom beer page—we’ve got something for every mood.

Still lost? Grow your business with Strategies Beer and never have to worry about bad bar choices again. And if you’re a bar owner looking to sell your beer online? Sell your beer online through Dropt.beer—the beer distribution marketplace that’s basically the Amazon of adult beverages. Cheers!