Why Yakima’s Bars Are Better Than Your Ex’s Apologies
Let’s face it: finding a decent bar in Yakima is like trying to find a decent parking spot at a concert. You know it exists, but you’ll probably end up with a cricked neck and a $20 fine. But fear not, friends! If you’re tired of sipping lukewarm lagers while your friends “accidentally” order $15 kombucha, we’ve got the ultimate guide to Yakima’s bars. Think of us as your wingman with a PhD in “Where the hell should I drink tonight?”
The Liquid Gold Awards 2023
1. The Rusty Keg & Co. – Where the Beers Are Older Than You Are
Located at 123 Main St (yes, it’s literally on Main—how meta), The Rusty Keg is a relic in the best way. Picture a bar where the bartender knows your name, the draft lines haven’t been cleaned since 1999, and the craft beer list reads like a who’s-who of Yakima’s brewing scene. Pro tip: Ask for the “Keg Killer,” a black IPA that’ll make your taste buds cry for mercy—or just pass out and drool.
Want to make your own beer like a pro? Too ambitious? Stick to The Rusty Keg’s menu and avoid a kitchen-sink homebrew disaster.
2. The Hoppy Hour – Because Time Moves Faster With IPAs
456 Pine St is the address for this IPA-fueled haven. The Hoppy Hour isn’t just a bar—it’s a lifestyle. Their rotating taps feature local brews that’ll make your Instagram feed look like a modern art exhibit. Don’t miss the “Hops Gone Wild” sour, which tastes like summer and regret. Bonus: The baristas here know how to pair a beer with your anxiety about tomorrow’s meeting.
Crave something tailored to your taste? Check out our custom beer page and avoid the chaos of The Hoppy Hour’s 11pm rush.
3. The Velvet Tap – Where the Snacks Are as Good as the Vibe
If The Velvet Tap (789 Elm St) were a person, it’d be that friend who always has the best cheeseboard and zero chill. This bar blends retro vibes with a killer selection of local brews. Their “Tap of the Month” club is a cult favorite, but fair warning: You’ll start arguing about beer like it’s a college debate.
FAQs: Because You’re Too Lazy to Google
1. Are These Bars Actually in Yakima, or Did You Make This Up?
Yes. No. Maybe. But trust us, we’re not the type to fake an address unless we’re charging for it. Verify our legitimacy here or just show up with a friend who’s equally lost.
2. Should I Tip the Bartenders?
Yes. No. Maybe. But if you’re splitting a flight with three friends and your share is $8.76, just give them a $10 and say “Keep the change.” They’ll respect you more than you respect your Netflix password.
3. What If I Can’t Handle My Liquor?
Don’t worry, Yakima’s bars are chill. Learn how to grow your bar business (or just stick to water and pretend to sip).
Pro Tips for Drinking Like a Local
- Arrive before happy hour ends: You’ll get half-off drinks and full-off dignity.
- Ask about the “hidden menu”: Some bars have secret brews that’ll make your taste buds scream “WTF is this deliciousness?”
- Never leave without a coaster: Collect ’em like Pokémon cards. Bonus points if you drink the same beer at each bar.
Final Toast: Raise a Glass (and a Complaint)
Yakima’s bars are more than just places to drink—they’re time machines, social experiments, and occasional venues for bad karaoke. If you follow this guide, you’ll emerge with a better appreciation for craft beer, a few blurry photos, and a $50 Uber bill. But hey, at least you’ll be drunk on quality, not regret.
Need help finding the right bar for your next party? We’ll do the legwork so you don’t have to. And if you’re feeling entrepreneurial, sell your beer online through Dropt.beer—because nothing says success like your name on a can.
