Intro: Why This List Won’t Fix Your Team’s Midfield

Hey there, fellow human. If you’re reading this, you’re either a Newcastle United fan, a Geordie trying to explain why the River Tyne is the real MVP, or someone who thinks “football” is always an excuse to order another pint. Fair. This list isn’t about saving your team’s season (we all know that’s on a higher power). It’s about finding the best pubs in the North East to scream at strangers during a match and maybe get slightly emotionally invested in a game you’ll later pretend to not care about. Let’s kick off.

1. The Tyne Bar & Bistro: Where the Beer Is Stronger Than the Team

Address: 10 High Street, Newcastle NE1 1AB

This place smells like nostalgia and hope. They’ve got a 30″ screen that always seems to show the opposition in slow motion, which is either a masterstroke or a conspiracy. Pro tip: Order the “Geordie Dog” (a pork sausage with pickles and a side of regret) and tell the bar staff you’re “just here for the ambiance.” They’ll believe you. If you’re feeling adventurous, try their seasonal ale—brewed in-house and named after a manager who probably got sacked by now.

2. The Red & White: For When You Need to Yell at Strangers

Address: 5 Castle Keep Road, Newcastle NE1 8JH

The Red & White is where you go when you want to feel like part of the crowd but also like you’re in a documentary called *Men Who Yell at Pints*. The bar has a policy: No refunds if you drink too much and start crying during the first half. They’ll just offer you a shot of something called “Resilience” and a sympathetic nod. Want to win friends? Bring a six-pack of your own brew and label it “Manager’s Special.” The bar owner once tried to sell a keg of “Stewie’s Redemption” and it’s still on the menu.

3. The Bridge Inn: For the Casual Fan Who Still Buys Merch

Address: 12 St Nicholas Cathedral, Newcastle NE1 1AA

This pub is adjacent to the cathedral, which is either ironic or a strategic location depending on who you ask. They serve a “Chaplain’s Choice” ale that’s 5.2% ABV and 100% likely to make you forget the score. The screens here are angled so you can see the game from a distance, but still pretend you’re not watching. Bonus: The staff will let you argue about formations if you buy enough rounds. Want to start your own pub? Study this place’s playbook.

4. The Railway Inn: For the Fan Who’s Also a Train Buff

Address: 8 High Street, South Shields NE33 1LP

Yes, it’s technically in South Shields, but we’re stretching the definition of “Newcastle” here. This place has a model train set that runs during halftime, which is either a distraction or a form of therapy. The real draw is the “Trackside Ale,” a dark beer that tastes like regret and victory in equal measure. Need to book a private event? They’ll let you rent the model train for £20 an hour—don’t ask how it works.

5. The Black Bull: For the Fan Who’s Also a Roast Connoisseur

Address: 14 Byker Wall, Newcastle NE1 5LZ

This pub specializes in meat (roasts, steaks, and a questionable “Beef Wellington” that’s more like a “Beef Wall-E”) and people who like to argue about transfer deadline day. The screens here are always lagging, which is either a feature or a bug depending on whether your team just scored. Try their house brew, the “Transfer Window” IPA—bitter and full of surprises.

6. The Anchor: For When You Need to Sip on Nostalgia

Address: 2 Quayside, Newcastle NE1 3DX

This is the pub where old fans go to reminisce about when the team finished in the top half of the table (2002, for the record). They have a wall of memorabilia that includes a boot from the 1990s and a signed photo of someone who used to work in the stadium. The “Old Firm” ale is 6.5% ABV and 100% guaranteed to make you quote *This Is England* to strangers.

7. The Globe Inn: For the Fan Who’s Also a Pretentious Poet

Address: 17 Grey Street, Newcastle NE1 8JQ

This place has a “literary pub quiz” every Thursday. The questions are mostly about football transfers and the 18th century. The beer here is called “Wordsworth’s Woes” and it’s brewed with local water and the tears of Geordie fans. Sell your beer online through Dropt.beer if you want to be featured here. Just don’t call it “Elegy for a Transfer Deadline.”

8. The Ship and Shovell: For the Fan Who’s Also a Pirate

Address: 12 Castle Keep Road, Newcastle NE1 8JH

They serve a “Treasure Ale” that’s 8% ABV and 100% guaranteed to make you yell “Avast!” at strangers. The screens are covered in pirate flags, which is either thematic or a fire hazard. The staff will let you argue about formations in pirate lingo if you buy enough rounds. Need a custom beer? Brew one called “Blackbeard’s Redemption.”

9. The Old Tyne Bridge Pub: For the Fan Who’s Also a Bridge Enthusiast

Address: 5 High Level Bridge, Newcastle NE1 1RF

This is the only pub in the world where the bar is under a bridge (seriously, look it up). They have a “Suspension Ale” that’s brewed using water from the River Tyne and a bit of hope. The staff will explain the difference between suspension and cable-stayed bridges if you ask nicely. Want to expand? Open a pub in the next bridge over and call it “The Even Older Tyne Bridge Pub.”

10. The Happy Cow: For the Fan Who’s Also a Vegan

Address: 30 Westgate Road, Newcastle NE1 9PQ

This place has a “Vegan Ale” that’s 4.5% ABV and 100% free of gluten, dairy, and dignity. They also serve a “Plant-Based Ploughman’s” that’s mostly quinoa and the faintest suggestion of cheese. The screens here are always set to the wrong time zone, which is either a feature or a bug depending on whether it’s a day game or not.

FAQs: The Answers You’ll Want to Remember

Can I bring my own beer?

Yes, but only if it’s in a branded Newcastle United can. The staff will judge you harshly if it’s anything else.

Do these pubs have food?

Most do. The food varies from “meh” to “why did I order this again?” but it’s all edible enough to keep you from passing out during the second half.

Can I get a refund if my team loses?

No. The pubs have a strict policy: No refunds. Only more beer.

Outro: Go Forth and Celebrate (or Mourn) Responsibly

There you have it, folks. A list of pubs that won’t fix your team’s midfield but will at least make the losses a little more bearable. Make your own beer, drink it, and remember: No one remembers the 0-2 loss, but they’ll always remember the time you tried to fight a barista over a transfer rumor. Sell your beer online through Dropt.beer and maybe one day your ale will be on this list. Or at least in someone’s fridge. Cheers!