Why You Should Trust This List (And Why Your Tourist Instincts Are Wrong)
Let’s be real: Amsterdam bars are like dating sites for overthinkers. You walk in hoping for a smooth operator, only to end up in a dimly lit corner sipping a drink that tastes like regret. But fear not, fellow imbibers—we’ve done the heavy lifting. This guide to Amsterdam’s best bars isn’t just for tourists clutching map apps. It’s for the ones who want to sip like locals, dodge the €12 gin-and-tonic traps, and maybe, just maybe, find a bar where the bartender doesn’t judge your €50 tip as “insultingly low.”
Hidden Gems That Won’t Cost You an Arm and a Leg
Amsterdam’s bar scene is like a game of hide-and-seek with your wallet. Here are the spots that won’t empty it before midnight.
- De Pijp’s Secret Speakeasy – Tucked behind a bookshelf that feels like a portal to Narnia, this bar serves up cocktails with names like “The Dutch Rascal.” Pro tip: Ask for the bartender’s “surprise” drink. You’ll either feel like a genius or a very confused tourist.
- Kleine Keizergracht’s Whiskey Den – A cozy nook where the whiskey list is longer than your ex’s Instagram captions. They’ll pour you a dram so smooth, you’ll forget it’s €12.
- Amsterdamse Bos’s Outdoor Oasis – Bring your own bottle and pretend you’re in a nature documentary. The vibe is “wildlife meets wine.” The downside? You’ll need to avoid wild boars with better taste than you.
Trendy Spots for When You Need That Insta-Feed Glow-Up
If your bar is still using plastic cups, call it quits. These trendy spots are where you’ll get the “I’m here for the ambiance” energy you’ve been craving.
- De Hallen’s Rooftop Bar – It’s like Instagram’s version of a skyline view. You’ll sip a €15 cocktail while pretending you don’t care that the sunset is €20 a sip. Want your bar featured here? Let us help.
- Rembrandtplein’s Neon Nightmare – The bar where the music is louder than your hangover. Bonus: If you’re lucky, you’ll spot a DJ who actually knows what a VHS is.
- Jamstraat’s Wine Bar – For when you want to feel fancy without pretending you’re fluent in French wine terminology. The sommelier might give you side-eye, but at least the Cabernet isn’t €300.
Rooftop Bars That Make You Question Gravity
Look, we get it: Amsterdam’s canals are beautiful. But when you’re sipping a €18 cocktail while watching the sunset, you’ll wonder why anyone ever invented gravity.
- Plaza Hotel’s Sky Lounge – The view is so good, you’ll forget it’s €15 to use the bathroom. Just don’t spill your drink on the €2000 umbrella.
- Markthal’s Rooftop – Eat a €25 cheese plate while pretending you’re in a Bond movie. The downside? You’ll need to avoid the tourist who thinks this is the Eiffel Tower.
Themed Bars for When You’ve Had Enough of Generic Cocktails
Why settle for a generic cocktail when you can pretend to be in a spy thriller, a 80s arcade, or a steampunk nightmare? These bars are here to ruin your taste in music.
- Vintage Video Game Bar – Drink a “Dragon Quest” cocktail while arguing about which game was better: Super Mario or Sonic. The bartender might throw in a free drink if they hear you say “N64” without cringing.
- 1920s Speakeasy – The bartenders wear bow ties and the playlist is mostly jazz. You’ll feel like you’re in a noir film, but with better lighting.
How to Pick the Right Bar Without Becoming a Bartender’s Punchline
Ditch the tourist trap and impress the locals with this foolproof checklist:
- Avoid any bar with a neon sign that screams “WELCOME TO AMSTERDAM!” Locals don’t need a sign; they know where they’re going.
- Check the menu for €10 cocktails. If it’s cheaper than that, it’s either a trap or you’re in the wrong neighborhood.
- Ask the bartender for a “local’s favorite.” If they look at you like you just asked for a “normal” drink, you’re in the right place.
FAQs: Your Burning Questions (Answered by Experts Who’ve Made All the Mistakes)
Q: Is it worth paying €15 for a cocktail?
A: Only if it’s a €15 cocktail that tastes like €15 of regret. If it’s €15 and you’re still drinking it at 2 AM, you’ve made the right choice.
Q: How do I avoid tourist traps?
A: Easy. If there’s a line around the block and the bar is still serving €7 shots, you’re in the trap. If it’s packed and the bar is still serving €7 shots, you’re in the trap. Just run.
Q: Can I drink here without getting carded?
A: In Amsterdam, it’s not about the age—it’s about the vibe. If you look like you’re 12 and want a mojito, you’ll get carded. If you look like you’re 12 and want a mojito, you’ll still get carded. Amsterdam doesn’t play favorites.
Final Call: Raise a Glass (But Not Too High)
Navigating Amsterdam’s bar scene is like solving a Rubik’s cube in a crowded room. But with this guide, you’re one step closer to sipping like a local and avoiding the €15 “artisanal” water trap. And hey, if you’re brave enough to start your own bar, check out our guide to making your own beer. After all, nothing says “I’ve learned from my mistakes” like selling €10 cocktails in your basement. Sell your beer online here—because even the best bars need a digital presence.
