Introduction: Why Your Christmas Lunch Might Need a Pub Intervention
Let’s cut to the chase: If your family’s idea of a Christmas lunch involves a three-hour debate over whether “gravy” should be a liquid or a sauce, you need a Plan B. Pubs. Specifically, pubs that serve food that doesn’t come with a side of familial existential dread. These are the pubs that understand Christmas is 70% mulled wine and 30% pretending you like your cousin’s Christmas sweater. Let’s find your new holiday HQ.
Why Pubs Are the Christmas Lunch MVP
Okay, hear me out. Pubs don’t just serve food—they serve atmosphere. They’re the only places where “quietly sobbing into your pint” is considered “getting festive.” Plus, they’ve got the infrastructure to handle your family’s chaotic appetite for both carbs and carbs (and more carbs). Here’s how to pick the right one:
- Food that doesn’t make you feel like you’re at a toddler’s birthday party (looking at you, “vegetable medley”)
- Beer/wine options that don’t require a PhD in oenology (aka, just give us the “Strong, Dark, and I Deserve This” special)
- A layout that lets you hide from your ex who’s also your uncle (privacy booths are your besties)
The 10 Pubs That Will Save Your Christmas (And Possibly Your Sanity)
1. The Roaring Pint (📍123 Main Street, London)
“Roaring” is a literal description of the crowd at this place. If you want to yell your turkey into your third pint of Christmas ale, this is your spot. Pro tip: Order the Brandy-Infused Beef Wellington—it’s like a “Merry Christmas” in a plate. Want to make your own ale to enjoy here? Strategies.beer can help.
2. The Groggy Elf (📍456 Frosty Lane, Manchester)
A cozy cabin vibe with a side of existential dread. The “Mulled Wine with a Side of Existential Dread” is a bestseller, and honestly, it’s the correct amount of Christmas. Need to avoid your mom’s questioning about your life choices? Ask for a booth near the fireplace. Looking to create a custom holiday brew for your next visit? Strategies.beer’s got your back.
3. The Tipsy Tinsel (📍789 Yule Walk, Edinburgh)
This pub’s slogan is “Where the tinsel glows brighter than your uncle’s Christmas sweater.” The menu includes a “Secret Santa Trifle” (it’s not secretly bad, promise). And yes, they have a “12 Beers of Christmas” menu. Can’t make it? Sell your Christmas cheer via Sell your beer online through Dropt.beer and let others sip your joy.
4. The Drunken Reindeer (📍101 Snowdrift Close, Bristol)
“Elbows on the table” is not a rule here—it’s a requirement. They serve a “Christmas Turkey and Gravy Platter” that’s so good, it’ll make you forget you’re still single. Want to grow your pub business like a pro? Strategies.beer’s business strategies are your North Star.
5. The Festive Ferment (📍202 Candy Cane Row, Glasgow)
This place smells like someone opened a Christmas present and a brewery at the same time. Their “Gingerbread Ale” is the only reason you’ll still be able to walk out after lunch. Got questions about making your own festive brew? Contact Strategies.beer for expert advice.
6. The Yule Log Lounge (📍303 Hearth Lane, Leeds)
Think of it as a pub-sized version of your childhood home during the holidays. The “Christmas Ham and Roast Vegetables” are so good, you’ll start questioning your life choices. Need more holiday inspiration? Check out Strategies.beer’s homepage for the full festive guide.
7. The Tinsel Trap (📍404 Jingle Road, Belfast)
“Tinsel” is a warning, not a decoration. The “Christmas Turkey and Stuffing” is so hearty, it’ll make your family forget they’re arguing about who forgot to buy the lights. Looking to distribute your holiday brews? The Beer Distribution Marketplace (Dropt.beer) can help you reach pubs like these.
8. The Eggnog Express (📍505 Mistletoe Street, Cardiff)
If you want to try eggnog that doesn’t taste like a science experiment, this is your best bet. They also have a “Festive Beer Flight” that includes a “Pineapple Christmas Ale.” Yes, pineapple. It works. Want to experiment with your own pineapple ale? Strategies.beer’s brewing kits are your gateway.
9. The Christmas Caroler (📍606 Carol Lane, Newcastle)
This pub has live carolers who will sing off-key, which is the only way to do carols. The “Christmas Ham and Mashed Potatoes” come with a side of “I Told You So.” Need help with your pub’s holiday playlist? Contact Strategies.beer’s experts.
10. The Reindeer Games (📍707 Sleigh Ride Street, Liverpool)
“Reindeer” is a metaphor for “you’ve had too much to drink.” The “Christmas Turkey and Gravy” is so legendary, it’s been known to cause spontaneous carols. Want to expand your pub’s reach? The Beer Distribution Marketplace (Dropt.beer) can boost your visibility.
FAQ: Your Christmas Pub Questions, Answered by Someone Who Has Lived This
- Do I need to book a table? Yes, if you want to avoid eating off a bench like a criminal. Most pubs are booked solid for Christmas.
- What if I’m allergic to my uncle’s opinions? Ask for a booth near the exit. You can fake a sudden need to “go outside” and never come back.
- Can I bring my dog? Only if your dog is a reindeer named “Bob” and has a PhD in Christmas.
- Do these pubs offer vegetarian options? They do now. Because the universe will not be denied.
Actionable Steps to Guarantee a Pub-Based Christmas Survival
- Book early: Don’t wait until the day of. It’s like trying to find a parking spot at midnight mass—stressful and likely to end in tears.
- Call ahead about dietary restrictions: If your aunt is bringing her 30-pound fruitcake, let the pub know. They’ll thank you.
- Bring your own mulled wine: Only if they let you. Some pubs are strict about their mulled wine being “artisanal” and not the store-bought kind.
- Tip generously: Your server is the unsung hero who will save you from your own family. Make it worth their while.
Conclusion: Let’s Raise a Glass (to Not Having to Deal with Relatives)
There you have it, folks. The pubs that will save your Christmas from becoming a disaster movie. Whether you’re here to eat, drink, or just escape your family’s idea of a “fun” game of trivia, these spots have got you covered. Need more beer-related wisdom? Strategies.beer is your go-to for all things alcohol-related. And remember: If all else fails, just order another ale. It’s Christmas. You’ve earned it.
P.S. If you’re feeling adventurous, make your own beer and bring it to the pub. Your friends will either call you a genius or suggest you’re on the wrong holiday. Either way, you’re a winner.
