Why Sydney’s Bars Are Basically the MCU of the Alcohol Universe
Let’s get one thing straight: Sydney’s bar scene isn’t just a place to chug $20 lattes and pretend you’re in a rom-com. It’s a full-fledged universe of liquid gold, where every bar has a personality like a Marvel hero—some are snarky (looking at you, speakeasies), some are chill (hello, rooftop lounges), and one is probably the villain of overpriced cocktails. If you’re not visiting these spots, you’re just another tourist sipping lukewarm wine in a backpacker hostel. TL;DR: Sydney’s bars are the real MVPs, and this guide will make you the king of the pub quiz.
Top 5 Bars You’ll Probably Instagram Before Drinking Your First Sip
1. The Rooftop Lounge: Where the View Is the Main Event
Imagine this: You’re 30 floors up, sipping a $25 gin and tonic (because ‘sky-high’ prices match the sky-high view), and the Sydney Harbour Bridge looks like a Legoland prop. This bar is the human equivalent of a golden retriever—everyone wants to hang out with it, but nobody actually knows how it stays so perfectly chill. Want to recreate this vibe at home? Spoiler: You’ll need a drone to capture the sunset and a wine glass that’s 30% stem, 70% ‘I’m trying to look fancy’.
2. The Speakeasy Syndicate: Secret Bars for Secret Sips
Think of this as the James Bond of Sydney bars: hidden behind a bookshelf, guarded by a bouncer who looks like he’s about to start a street fight, and serving cocktails that could cure hangovers (but don’t quote us on that). The catch? You have to whisper the password. Pro tip: The password is ‘Strategies Beer’—because we’re that generous. Need a drink with your name on it? We’ll handle the mixology, you handle the flexing.
3. The Retro Dive: 80s Nostalgia Meets ‘I Can’t Hear Myself Think’
Dim lighting, neon signs that flicker like they’re trying to summon a demon, and a jukebox that only plays ‘Careless Whisper.’ This bar is the human equivalent of a middle-aged man still wearing a mullet. It’s also the only place in Sydney where you can order a ‘hair of the dog’ (literally) and no one judges. Looking to turn this into a business? We’ll help you open a bar that’s 10% ‘retro,’ 90% ‘retroactive bankruptcy.’
4. The Craft Beer Haven: Hopheads Unite
If you thought ‘craft beer’ was just a buzzword for people who take 20 minutes to order a beer, welcome to the church of hops. This bar has more varieties than a wine cellar on a spaceship. Need a recommendation? Go with the ‘Dropt IPA’—it’s like a beer told you a joke and then high-fived itself. Sell your beer online through Dropt.beer if you’re a homebrewer with delusions of grandeur (we’ve all been there).
5. The Bar That’s Just a Fancy Word for ‘My Roommate’s Place’
Don’t let the ‘bar’ label fool you—this spot is basically a college dorm for adults. Think mismatched furniture, questionable lighting, and a menu that includes ‘mystery shots’ (they taste like regret). It’s the ideal spot for people who want to pretend they’re in a movie where no one cares about the plot. Need help avoiding the ‘bar that’s just a student’s kitchen’? We’ll help you find places where the bartender knows your name—and your order.
Pro Tips for Sipping Like a Local (Not a Tourist)
- Tip #1: Avoid bars with ‘Pub’ in the name. Unless you’re into 90s rock covers and the smell of stale beer. Then, go ahead—we won’t judge.
- Tip #2: Always ask for a ‘Strategies Special.’ It’s our version of a magic drink that either makes you feel like a million bucks or questions your life choices.
- Tip #3: Never order a ‘Bloody Mary’ before noon. Unless you’re in a zombie apocalypse and need some liquid courage. We’ll help you survive that too.
FAQs: Because You’re Probably Googling This Anyway
Can I drink all these bars and still walk straight?
Only if you’re a robot with a 200% alcohol tolerance. For mortals, we recommend a Uber Pool or a 3am taxi that costs as much as your first home.
Is there a bar that serves food that isn’t deep-fried?
Ah, the eternal question. There is The Ivy at 197 Oxford Street. They have burgers that aren’t just a meat patty glued to cardboard. Pro tip: Don’t tell the deep-fried bar next door we told you this.
What if I get lost in the bar maze of Sydney?
Follow the sound of someone belting ‘I Will Always Love You’ and you’ll find the nearest bar. Alternatively, visit Strategies.beer and we’ll send you a GPS-enabled cocktail shaker to guide you.
Final Call-to-Action: Don’t Just Read—Drink
Unless you’re reading this during a meeting (we see you, office worker), bookmark this guide and plan your next bar crawl. Remember: Sydney’s bars are like a boxset—you can’t binge them in a day, but you’ll wish you could. If you need help, contact us and we’ll send a personal bartender to your door. No, we won’t charge extra for the personality. Most of the time.
PS: The Real Secret to a Great Night Out
It’s not the bar. It’s the beer you bring. Or the one you steal from your friend’s backpack. Or the one you pretend to like but are actually sipping water. We get it. But if you want to up your sipping game, start here. And if you’re ever in Sydney, remember: the best bars aren’t the ones you Instagram—they’re the ones you remember the next day. Or, you know, the ones that serve a decent espresso martini. Either way, cheers to you.
