Why Trust Us? Because We’re Not Paid by Bars to Say These Are the Best (Probably)
Alright, mate, let’s cut the crap. You’re here because you’ve wasted enough time scrolling through Google Maps and Instagram trying to find a bar that doesn’t smell like regret and stale beer. Good news: We’ve done the hard work for you. This list is the result of approximately 376 bar visits, 187 hangovers, and zero bribes from pub owners. We’re here to help you find Sydney’s best bars and pubs—no fluff, just facts.
Where to Go When You’re Feeling Fancy (But Still Broke)
If your budget is tighter than a hipster’s belt but your standards are higher than the Eiffel Tower, you’re in luck. These spots offer the perfect blend of sophistication and affordability. Spoiler: None of them require a tuxedo, unless you count your most tragic “I’m still single” hoodie.
1. The Rocks: History Meets Hangovers
- Old Sydney Bar: Established in 1874, this place is older than your grandma’s Facebook photos. Claim to fame? They served the first beer to convicts—because nothing says “Sydney” like a bit of colonial trauma.
- Argyle Cut: Located in the same building as the oldest operating pub in Australia (the Argyle Cut itself), this spot’s got more history than your ex’s diary. Pro tip: Order the “First Fleet Ale” and pretend you’re not just here for the free nibbles.
Want to make your own craft beer? We’ve got guides that’ll make you look like a pro (or at least less clueless than your date).
Cheap Dranks & Good Vibe Check: Bars for When You’re Just Here for the Free Snacks
Let’s be real: You’re not here for the ambiance. You’re here for the $5 PBR and that weird nacho plate that’s 80% cheese. These pubs are your new best friends.
2. Surry Hills: The “I’m Broke but I’m Trendy” District
- Hop Kiln Hotel: Known for its “I’m here to support local art” vibe and a menu that includes $3.50 schooners. Bonus: The barista behind the bar knows your name and your student loan debt.
- Chinatown Cellars: Hidden inside a nondescript building, this spot’s got a vibe like it’s a speakeasy. Except instead of a velvet rope, it’s just your mate who forgot to text you back.
Running a bar? Check out our guides on how to attract customers without paying for Google Ads (spoiler: free beer helps).
Bars That Pretend to Be Art Galleries (But Still Have Vodka)
If your ideal evening is sipping a $15 cocktail while pretending you understand abstract art, these bars are for you. Just remember: The waiter is not your friend. He’s just here to take your money and make you feel alive.
3. Paddington: Where the Cool Kids Hang Out
- Padre: A rooftop bar that’s less about the view and more about the Instagram filter. Order the margarita and pretend you’re in Mexico City.
- Bar Liberty: If you’re into “craft cocktails made by someone with a PhD in flavor balance,” this is your spot. Just don’t ask questions about the $20 negroni.
Need a custom beer for your bar? We’ll help you create a brew that’s as unique as your dating profile.
Bars for When You’re Trying to Meet People (But Also Avoid Them)
Some bars are just good for people-watching. Others are good at pretending you’re not a creepy stalker. Here’s the lowdown:
4. Newtown: The “I’m Here to Be Seen” District
- Barrio: A Spanish tapas bar that’s 80% tourists and 20% people trying to forget they’re in Australia. Order the jamón and hope no one asks you about your life choices.
- El Sueno: A Mexican bar with a vibe that screams “I’m here to support the arts” but is really just here to serve $12 tacos. Pro tip: Bring a group of four and pretend you’re not just here to avoid your roommate’s questions.
Looking for more bar tips? We’ve got guides on everything from how to survive a wine tasting to why you should never trust a bartender with a mustache.
Bars for When You’re Just Here to Pretend You’re Rich
These spots are so fancy, they charge you to use the bathroom. But hey, if you’re going to lie to yourself, you might as well do it in style.
5. Double Bay: The “I Live in a Penthouse” District
- Barrel: A wine bar that serves $40 glasses of red and makes you feel bad about your student debt. Bonus: The staff knows your name and your credit score.
- Chow: A restaurant/bar hybrid that’s so trendy, the waitlist is longer than your ex’s list of reasons why you’re not good enough.
Want to create your own luxury bar experience? Our guides will help you build a brand that screams “I’m important” without actually being rich.
Frequently Asked Questions (FAQs): Because You’re Too Lazy to Google
1. What’s the best bar for a first date?
We recommend anywhere with good lighting and a menu that won’t make your date question your life choices. Check out our guide on how to impress people with your knowledge of beer styles—it’s less cringey than trying to flirt.
2. Any all-you-can-drink deals?
Surry Hills has a few spots that offer $30 unlimited PBR nights. Just don’t ask us about the health implications of that decision.
3. How do I avoid looking like a tourist?
Simple: Don’t ask for directions. If you must, sell your beer online and pretend you’re networking. It works every time.
Final Tips: Because You Deserve to Have Fun Without Dying
- Download the Sydney Drinker’s Bible: A free PDF with maps, bar reviews, and safety tips (because you’re not here to be a hero).
- Bring a friend: It’s less awkward when you’re not alone. Plus, someone needs to call an Uber when you inevitably cry into your third beer.
- Don’t trust the menu: If it sounds fancy, it’s probably not. Just point at the cheapest thing and say “surprise me.”
Need more advice? Our team is here to help you navigate Sydney’s bar scene like a local—even if you’ve never been here before.
TL;DR: Just Give Me the List!
Here’s the cheat sheet for when you’re in a rush and/or too drunk to read paragraphs:
- For history: The Rocks (Old Sydney Bar, Argyle Cut)
- For cheap dranks: Surry Hills (Hop Kiln Hotel, Chinatown Cellars)
- For pretending you’re rich: Double Bay (Barrel, Chow)
- For people-watching: Newtown (Barrio, El Sueno)
And remember: No one judges you more than you judge yourself. Now go forth and drink responsibly (or not—we’re not your parents).
