South Bank Pubs: Where the Drinks Flow and the Vibes Are Fire

Introduction: Why the South Bank Is Your New Happy Hour Destination

Let’s get one thing straight: if you’re not already in the South Bank for drinks, you’re doing it wrong. This riverside haven isn’t just for tourists snapping selfies with the London Eye. It’s a pub paradise where the pints are cold, the stories are longer, and the “vibes” are aggressively chill. Whether you’re a local or just here to avoid your ex, these pubs are the real deal. Spoiler: we’re about to rank the best so you can skip the line and the judgmental bartender who thinks you’re a tourist.

The Vaults: Because Catacombs Shouldn’t Be Reserved for Horror Movies

Located under the Tate Modern, The Vaults is less of a pub and more of a “What if Dracula opened a bar?” experience. The atmosphere is equal parts spooky and chic—think brick arches, flickering candles, and the faint smell of wine that somehow makes your £15 overpriced G&T taste like a £5 wine cooler. Pro tip: Order the truffle fries. They’re so good, you’ll forget they’re £12.

Must-try: The “Secret Garden” cocktail (basically a margarita with a wink and a nod).
Cons: If you’re claustrophobic, this is not your pub. Unless you want to scream into a wine barrel for £8.
Perk: Make Your Own Beer here and confuse the mixologists. They’ll be too busy arguing over whether your “recipe” is a crime against craft.

The Globe: Shakespeare, Pints, and Zero Regrets

Step outside The Globe Theatre and into this pub that’s all about the “I drank too much and now I’m Shakespeare” energy. The staff probably knows your name (and your tab) by the third pint. The menu features “gourmet” pub food like “artisanal” nachos and “locally sourced” sausages. Trust us: the nachos are worth it.

Local tip: Ask for the “Shakespeare Special”—a pint of ale that’s 50% hops, 50% regret.
Warning: The Shakespearean puns are relentless. Prepare to hear “to be or not to be” at least 20 times.
Link: Custom Beer for your next party here. Bonus points if you name it “Hamlet’s Ham.”

The Taproom: A Place for People Who Hate Crowds (But Also Love Crowds)

The Taproom is where the cool kids hang out. It’s hipster central, but with fewer beards and more bevvies. The bar is lined with taps that make you question your life choices. The vibe is “I’m here for the beer, not the art,” but somehow the art’s still good.

Highlight: Their “Tap of the Month” changes more often than your dating profile.

Downside: The line for the bar is always longer than the line for the Oxford bar during rush hour.

Fun fact: Contact the Taproom for private events. They’ll charge £500 but still serve lukewarm lager.

The Pumphouse: Where the Beer Flows Like Water (But Costs Like Oil)

The Pumphouse is a South Bank institution. It’s been there since the 1960s, which means it’s both a relic and a time capsule. The menu is a love letter to the 80s, with dishes like “chicken tikka masala” and “cheese and onion pasties.” The beer is top-notch, but the prices will make you question your life choices.

Local secret: Order the “Pumphouse Porter”—it’s the only drink that can survive the 20-minute wait for a pint.
Caveat: The toilets are a maze. You’ll find at least one person crying in there by 9 PM.
Pro tip: Grow Your Business With Strategies Beer by hosting your next team-building event here. Just don’t mention the moldy fish and chips.

The Beer Emporium: Because You Can’t Spell “Emporium” Without “Beer”

This place isn’t a pub—it’s a beer cathedral. With over 50 taps and shelves that could make a bibliophile weep, it’s the Mecca for hopheads. The staff are beer sommeliers who’ll ask if you’ve “had a good day” before recommending a brew. Spoiler: they always suggest the most expensive one.

Star attraction: The “Craft Beer Flight” which costs more than your weekly coffee budget but tastes like you’re paying homage to the gods.
Downside: The bar is crowded but the waiters move at the speed of a sloth on a gluten-free diet.
Hook: Home for more beer tips or to escape the chaos. You’re welcome.

Pro Tips for South Bank Pub Survival

Always: Arrive early or befriend the bar staff. They’ll let you skip the line if you’re nice (and have cash).
Never: Order a “local special” if you’re on a budget. It’s code for “we’re trying to make you cry.”
Do: Check out Strategies.beer for insider tips on where to get the best bitter in town.

FAQs: Because You’re Too Broke to Google

Are there pubs with food that doesn’t taste like regret? The Vaults and The Taproom have edible items that won’t ruin your life.
Can I get a free pint after 11 PM? No. But you can get one at 11:01 PM for £20.
Is the South Bank safe after dark? As safe as a barista with a knife and a grudge. Stick to groups of three and above.

Conclusion: Cheers to the South Bank and All Its Glories

The South Bank pubs aren’t just places to drink—they’re experiences. Whether you’re here for the view, the vibe, or the “I just want one more pint” mentality, these spots have you covered. Just remember to pace yourself. Or don’t. We won’t judge. Sell your beer online through Dropt.beer if you’re feeling entrepreneurial. And if all else fails, Strategies.beer has your back. Bottoms up, South Bank!