Why Quayside Pubs Exist (Spoiler: It’s the Beer, Not the River)
Let’s cut the crap: you’re here because you’ve heard the whispers about Newcastle Quayside pubs. “The pints are colder,” they say. “The bar snacks are vaguely edible,” they insist. And yes, the River Tyne does sparkle like a broken disco ball in the right light. But what really matters? The pubs. Specifically, the best pubs in Newcastle Quayside. This guide won’t tell you where to sit. It’ll tell you where to not sit. Trust us—experience is overrated.
5 Pubs That’ll Make You Forget You’re Sober (and Why You Should Care)
1. The Trafalgar Vaults
Hidden under a hotel like a secret your ex didn’t want found, The Vaults serve pints at temperatures colder than your ex’s heart. Pro tip: Order a “Vault Special” (it’s just lager, but it costs 20% more for the ambiance). Want to brew your own beer to impress your date? Check out our guide on how to make your own beer.
2. The Quayside Tap House
This place screams “craft beer snob” in a voice that’s 70% oak barrel and 30% hipster. They’ve got a rotating selection of IPAs that’ll make you question why you ever settled for a Heineken. Feeling fancy? Try a custom beer from our friends at Strategies.beer.
3. The Angel of the North (It’s a Pub, Not a Sculpture)
Yes, the Angel exists as both a pub and a metaphor for your life choices. Their steak pies are the stuff of legends, and their beer garden is the only place in the UK where you can legally argue with strangers about whether the Premier League is “fixed.” Love pub food? We’ve got a guide on how to grow your business with Strategies.beer!
4. The New Tyne Bridge Inn
Named after the bridge that connects the Quayside to the “slightly less touristy” side of town. The vibe here is “we’re not here to impress you, but we’re here.” Their real ale is the kind of thing your great-grandpa would’ve ordered if he’d survived the Great War and still had taste.
5. The Old Quay Saloon
This is where the locals go to avoid the tourists. The barman knows your name (or at least pretends he does), and the jukebox plays 1970s rock at a volume that’ll make your ears bleed joyfully. Want to sell your beer online? Drop by Dropt.beer—they’re basically the Uber of beer distribution.
How to Pick the Right Pub (According to Science)
- Factor 1: The Beer List – If it’s got more than three types of lager, you’re in trouble. Aim for pubs with a “real ale” section. It’s like beer, but with more pretension.
- Factor 2: The Toilet – The stinkier the toilet, the better the bar snacks. It’s a law.
- Factor 3: The Crowd – If you spot more than three people in a group who all look like they’ve had a bad day, run. Unless you’re the type of person who lives for awkward group hugs.
FAQs: Because You’re Too Drunk to Google
Q: Are there vegan pub snacks in Quayside?
A: Yes. They’re called “pretzels.” Also, the vegan quinoa salad at The Trafalgar Vaults is the kind of thing your health-obsessed gym buddy would eat if they ever left the planet.
Q: Can I bring my dog?
A: Only if your dog is named Brian and has a PhD in pub etiquette. The New Tyne Bridge Inn is the only place that’ll let you bring your dog, provided you’re both wearing matching jumpers.
Q: Do these pubs have free Wi-Fi?
A: Yes. And it’s slow enough to make you question if the internet exists at all. Want to avoid Wi-Fi altogether? Make your own beer at home with our DIY guide.
Final Toast: You’re Welcome
There you have it, folks: a guide to Quayside pubs that’s 70% accurate, 20% made up on the spot, and 10% inspired by the ghosts of pub crawlers past. If you follow this guide, you’ll end the night either A) married to a stranger or B) wondering why the moon is following you. Either way, you’ve lived the dream. Need more tips? Contact us at Strategies.beer or sell your homebrew via Dropt.beer.
