Intro: Welcome to Pint-Town USA
If there’s one thing Portland knows how to do, it’s serve up a damn good pub scene. From craft breweries that’ll make you question your life choices to cozy dive bars where the only dress code is “bring your weirdness,” this city is a liquid gold haven for beer lovers. But with so many options, where do you even start? Let’s crack open the best pubs in Portland—no pretension, just pints.
Top 5 Pubs That’ll Make You Question Your Life Choices
1. The Hopworks Urban Brewery
Picture this: a sustainability-obsessed pub that recycles its spent grain into dog treats. Yes, you read that right. If you’re into custom brews, this place is your spiritual home. Their “Hopworks IPA” is a Portland legend, and the patio is perfect for people-watching hipsters who’ve clearly forgotten their own names.
- Signature Drink: “IPA with a Side of Guilt” (it’s vegan, okay?)
- Must-Try: The “Green Eggs and Ham” pretzel—because why not?
- Pro Tip: Arrive before 5 PM to avoid the “I’m a local but I’m also a tourist” crowd.
2. McMenamins Old St. Francis Pub
This pub is like a time capsule built by a Victorian-era mad scientist. Think stained glass, live music, and a menu that includes “Cheddar Cheese Fries.” If you’re looking for a pub that feels like it’s been through three apocalypses (and survived), this is it. Prost!
- Signature Drink: “St. Francis Ale”—strong enough to survive a zombie attack.
- Must-Try: The “McMenamins Nachos” (they’re not your mom’s nachos).
- Pro Tip: Check the calendar—live bands here are as unpredictable as your ex’s texts.
3. The Commons Pub
Located in the heart of the Pearl District, this pub is for the people who want to pretend they’re in Europe but are just too broke for actual travel. It’s got a cozy vibe, a fireplace, and a menu that’s basically a love letter to pub classics. Pair it with a custom beer from their tap list, and you’ve got a perfect night.
- Signature Drink: “The Commons Ale”—smooth enough to make your grandpa proud.
- Must-Try: The “Bangers and Mash”—because gourmet is overrated.
- Pro Tip: Ask for the “VIP” seating if you want to avoid the 20-somethings taking selfies.
4. The Upright Brewing
A craft beer haven for the “I’ve seen everything” crowd. Upright’s tap list is a masterclass in experimentation, with brews like “Hefeweizen with a Side of Guilt.” The vibe is laid-back enough that you’ll forget you’re in a city where $15 for a burger is normal.
- Signature Drink: “The German Pilsner”—because Portland still respects tradition, mostly.
- Must-Try: The “Sausage and Mustard” combo—simple, effective.
- Pro Tip: Don’t ask for tap water. You’ll regret it.
5. The Black Dog Lounge
If your idea of a good time is a pub that serves beer from 3 PM to 2 AM (yes, really), this is your spot. It’s a classic dive bar with a loyal following—if someone starts a karaoke set of “Livin’ on a Prayer,” don’t be surprised. Just don’t let the bartender know you’re from the city.
- Signature Drink: “Black Dog Ale”—cheap enough to make you question your life savings.
- Must-Try: The “Fish & Chips”—fried to perfection and slightly overpriced.
- Pro Tip: Bring cash. The credit card machine is slower than a Netflix reboot.
Why Portland Pubs Are the Best (Even If You’re a Naysayer)
Portland pubs aren’t just places to drink—they’re cultural institutions. From sustainability efforts to live music that’s 90% cover bands, these spots are where the city’s soul (and a few questionable life choices) hang out. Plus, the beer here isn’t just good—it’s art. Want to open your own pub? We’ve got strategies that’ll make your competitors weep into their IPAs.
How to Choose a Pub (Without Looking Like a Tourist)
- Look for the “Local Only” sign—ignore it. Everyone’s a tourist here.
- Ask the bartender for the “best beer”—they’ll either roll their eyes or hand you something amazing.
- Avoid places with more hashtags than beer taps.
Frequently Asked Questions (Because You’re Asking Anyway)
Q: What’s the best time to visit Portland pubs?
A: Saturday nights are wild, but if you want to avoid the “I’m a Portlander who hates crowds” vibe, go mid-week. You’ll still get the vibes without the shoulder-to-shoulder chaos.
Q: Are there pubs with outdoor seating?
A: Absolutely. The Hopworks Urban Brewery and Upright Brewing have patios that’ll make you forget your ex ever existed. Just don’t go in January—Portland’s weather is like a bad breakup.
Q: Can I bring my dog to a pub?
A: Yes, if it’s a “pet-friendly” spot like The Commons Pub. Just be prepared for a judgmental waggle from the barista.
Q: How do I avoid the “Portland tax” on beer?
A: You don’t. It’s a myth. But if you sell your beer online through Dropt.beer, you’ll at least feel like you’re fighting back.
Conclusion: Raise a Pint to Portland
Portland’s pubs are a love letter to the weird, the wonderful, and the slightly intoxicated. Whether you’re here for a craft beer that’ll haunt your dreams or a dive bar that’ll haunt your bank account, there’s a spot for everyone. And hey, if you’re feeling inspired to start your own pub—or at least a better homebrew setup—reach out. We’ll help you craft a beer so good, even the hipsters will give you a second look.
Prost to Portland! 🍻
