Why Perth’s Pubs Are the Real MVPs of Drinking Culture

Let’s cut to the chase: if you’re in Perth and not at least slightly obsessed with pubs and bars, are you even living? The West Aussie drinking scene is a wild ride of craft beers, pub quizzes that’ll break your soul, and bartenders who know your order faster than your mom does. This guide isn’t just a list of places to get drunk—it’s a masterclass in where to sip, where to slay, and where to avoid if you want to keep your dignity. Buckle up, mates.

Top 5 Pubs That’ll Make You Question All Previous Drinking Choices

Okay, let’s start with the OGs—the pubs that make the rest of Perth’s watering holes look like they’re still in training. These places are where legends are born and hangovers are earned with pride.

1. The Crafty Cask – Where Beers Have Personalities

If your idea of a good night includes beers that could pass for rockstars, this is your spot. The Crafty Cask serves up a rotating menu of local brews, including that one IPA that tastes like it’s trying to hug you. Pro tip: Order the “Thunderdome” (a double IPA that’ll knock your socks off) and ask the bartender about the history of the cask. Spoiler: It involves a lot of hops and zero regrets.

2. The Barrel of Laughs – Comedy Meets Craft

Who says pubs can’t be both hilarious and hoppy? The Barrel of Laughs hosts live comedy every Friday and Saturday. If you’re lucky, the stand-up comic will forget their jokes mid-set, but hey—that’s what the craft lager is for. Their “Laughin’ Lager” is so smooth, it’ll make you forget you’re in a pub where the funniest joke is usually “Why did the beer cross the road?” (Because it needed to get to the pub, obviously.)

3. The Rusty Nail – For the Realists (and Whiskey Nerds)

If you think a pub without a whiskey wall is just a bar, you’re doing it wrong. The Rusty Nail has over 50 whiskeys, including that rare single malt your uncle tried to smuggle from Scotland in the ‘90s. Their “West Aussie Whiskey Tasting” is a masterclass in why you shouldn’t judge a brown liquid by its bottle. Pair it with the steak pie—because nothing says “I’ve made it” like eating meat in a pub that smells like bourbon.

4. The Salty Sailor – For When You’re Not Into Being Serious

This pub is where the sea meets the bar. Located right by the port, The Salty Sailor serves up seafood platters that’ll make you forget you’re in Perth. Their “Anchovy Amber” (a beer brewed with actual anchovies—no, really) is a polarizing choice, but if you can stomach it, you’ll earn instant respect from the bar staff. Bonus: The pub hosts “Nautical Nonsense” trivia nights where the questions are as salty as the staff.

5. The Pub That Justifies Your Existence – For the Overthinkers

Need a place to contemplate life while sipping a perfectly poured pint? The Pub That Justifies Your Existence is your existential oasis. Their “Philosopher’s Porter” is brewed with a secret blend of ingredients, including “the wisdom of ages” (probably just coffee and chocolate, but hey, the name makes it better). The walls are plastered with quotes from Nietzsche and your Instagram poet cousin, and the barista knows your thoughts are deep even if your beer is cheap.

Hidden Gems: Pubs That Don’t Care If You Found Them

Some bars in Perth are so underground, they’re basically in a cave. These are the places where the locals go to avoid tourists, and the tourists go to feel like locals. You’ve been warned.

1. The Speakeasy of Sadness – For the Moody Souls

Hidden behind a bookshelf in a normal-looking bar, this speakeasy is all moody lighting and sad indie bands. The “Soul Destroyer” beer is brewed with existential dread and a hint of bergamot. If you’re here, you’re either deep in thought or just avoiding your ex. Either way, the bartender will know what to do—probably serve you a stiff drink and a side of sarcasm.

2. The Rooftop Roo – Views So Good They’ll Make You Cry

Perth’s skyline never looked better, and The Rooftop Roo is proof. This bar is on the 23rd floor of a building no one’s ever heard of, serving up cocktails with a side of skyline envy. Their “West End Sunrise” cocktail is so Instagrammable, it’ll make you forget you’re still in Perth. Pro tip: Don’t mention the view to the barista—they’ll charge you an extra $5 for the privilege of not being annoying.

Bars That’ll Make You Question Your Life Choices

Let’s be real: Some bars in Perth are so good, they’ll make you wonder why you ever drank anything else. These are the places where the beer menu is longer than your list of chores, and the ambiance is so cozy, it’ll make you forget you’re still single.

1. The Crafted Canvas – Artistic? Yes. Judgmental? Also Yes.

This bar doubles as an art gallery for people who think they’re creative. The “Painted Porter” is brewed with beetroot to give it a pinkish hue (because nothing says “I’ve got it all together” like drinking pink beer). The staff will pretend not to judge you for drinking a craft beer that looks like it was made by a toddler with a food processor.

2. The Velvet Vine – For the Vino Lovers

If you’re not into beer, The Velvet Vine has a wine list longer than a Netflix queue. Their “Barrel-Aged Cabernet” is so good, it’ll make you forget you ever liked beer. Pair it with a cheese platter that costs more than your weekly grocery budget and pretend you’re in Paris. (Spoiler: You’re not. But your cheese platter is.)

How to Win at Pub Quizzes (Even If You Know Nothing)

Pub quizzes are the ultimate test of trivia knowledge—or in this case, your ability to bluff. Here’s how to dominate without actually knowing anything:

1. Memorize the answer to “Who was the first Prime Minister of Australia?” (Spoiler: He was probably a white guy.)
2. Bring a team of people who think they’re smart. Nothing impresses a bartender like a group that can’t agree on anything.
3. Always guess “England” as the answer to every geography question. Statistically, you’ll be right 40% of the time.

Why Perth’s Pubs Are Better Than Your Ex

Mate, your ex never brought you a pint of beer. They never asked how your day was (unless you were crying). They never let you win at darts even when you clearly cheated. Perth’s pubs are the actual soulmates here.

Frequently Asked Questions (FAQs)

1. What’s the best bar in Perth?

Depends on your vibe. If you’re into craft beer, hit up The Crafty Cask. If you’re here to feel like a Bond villain, go for The Rooftop Roo. If you’re just here to avoid your problems, The Speakeasy of Sadness has a couch that’s been through more than you.

2. Can I drink here if I’m 18 and look like a child?

Perth’s pubs are chill about appearances. Just smile, wave your ID, and remember: Confidence is 90% of the look. The rest is just eyeliner and a fake mustache.

3. Are there pubs that don’t serve beer?

Yes, and they’re probably in the same building as The Velvet Vine. But why would you go there when you could be here?

4. Why do Perth pubs have so many names that make no sense?

It’s a mystery, but we like to think it’s because the people who named them were also drinking.

Final Cheers to Perth’s Pubs

So there you have it, folks. Perth’s pubs and bars aren’t just places to get drunk—they’re where stories are told, friendships are forged, and existential crises are solved. Whether you’re here to sip a craft beer, laugh until your face hurts, or just pretend you’re in a Bond movie, Perth’s got you covered. Now go out there, raise a glass, and remember: The best pub in the world is the one where you’re having fun. Cheers!

If you’re inspired to make your own beer to serve at these pubs, check out Make Your Own Beer for step-by-step guides. And if you want to grow your business by partnering with Perth’s top pubs, head to Grow Your Business With Strategies Beer for expert strategies.

Looking to sell your beer online? Dropt.beer is the ultimate marketplace for distributing your brews to pubs and bars across Australia. Cheers to your success!