Why Thursday Nights?
Thursday. The day that’s technically not the weekend but somehow expects you to act like it is. You’re stuck between “I should probably be productive” and “What if I’m already at a bar?” Melbourne’s Thursday night bars know this struggle. They’ve perfected the art of turning “I have Monday meetings” into “I have a Margarita and zero regrets.” Let’s dive into where you should be sipping (and swaying) this week.
Bars That Make Thursday Feel Like Friday (But Better)
1. The Espy – Where “I’m Just Here for the Tapas” Turns Into “Wait, I’m Leaving Tomorrow?”
Located at 387 Lonsdale St, The Espy isn’t just a bar—it’s a vibe. If you’re here by 8 PM, you’ll blend in with the crowd of people pretending they’re not there to watch the sunset. Their tapas menu is basically a buffet for indecisiveness: you’ll order the calamari, then the truffle fries, then the dessert that’s technically a crime against dinner. Pro Tip: Ask for the “Espy Special” (no, they won’t tell you what it is). If you’re into crafting your own brew, their beer menu is a masterclass in how to charge $15 for something that technically could be $5.
2. The Lord Nelson Hotel – Rooftop Vibes for People Who Hate the Ground
120 William St isn’t just a street—it’s a gateway to the Lord Nelson Hotel. Their rooftop bar is where Melbourne’s best Thursday night debates happen: “Should I text them back?” and “Is this wine actually red?” The panoramic views of the city are the perfect backdrop for your “I’m just here to network” lie. Pro Tip: Order the “Lord Nelson Negroni” and act surprised when the bartender asks if you want to join their secret book club (they read only The Great Gatsby).
3. Cumulus Craft Ales – Hops, Hype, and the Illusion of Control
At 351–353 Lonsdale St, Cumulus Craft Ales is the place where your “I only drink craft beer sometimes” becomes a full-blown identity crisis. With 20+ taps of beer you’ve never heard of, it’s like a science fair for adults. Pro Tip: Ask for the “Cumulus Cloud” (a hazy IPA that’s basically beer’s version of a TikTok trend). If you’re into the fun of personalized brews, they’ll let you pretend you’re a CEO with their “Custom Cask” service (for $200, you get to say you invented a beer, even if you didn’t).
Frequently Asked Questions (FAQs): Because You’re Too Lazy to Google
1. Is there a dress code that’s secretly a code?
Nope. Unless your outfit screams “I’m here to be friends with the bartender,” you’re good. But if you wear Crocs, the bouncers might ask you to leave—not because they’re elitist, but because they’re trying to maintain the illusion of class.
2. Should I make a reservation or just wing it?
Wing it. Thursday nights are the one time Melbourne bars forget how full they are. But if you’re going to The Espy, arrive before 9 PM or risk sitting on a fire escape like a rejected character from a rom-com.
3. What if I’m not into beer? Can I just pretend to be?
Yes. All three bars have cocktails, wine, and/or mocktails. But don’t ask for a “mocktail” unless you want the menu to laugh at you.
Thursday Night Survival Guide: 5 Steps to Not Die of Boredom
- Step 1: Arrive before 8:45 PM. This is the “I didn’t realize it was Thursday night until I checked my phone” buffer zone.
- Step 2: Order one round of drinks per 30 minutes. This is a formula developed by mathematicians, not by people who have ever had a hangover.
- Step 3: Take a photo of the skyline. This is for your Instagram story, and also for that one friend who still thinks Melbourne is basically just a bushfire.
- Step 4: Compliment the bartender. They’ll either thank you or sell you a $12 house wine. Either way, you win.
- Step 5: If you’re still standing at midnight, consider yourself a winner. Otherwise, check out our tips on how to turn your bar adventures into a career (yes, we’re that confident).
Final Tips: Because You Deserve to Live
- If you’re looking for a place to brew your own beer, The Espy has a “homebrew station” where you can spend $40 to make a beer you’ll never drink again.
- Want to take your Thursday night bar experience online? Dropt.beer is the answer to all your distribution problems—or at least the answer to the distribution problem that’s keeping you from selling your homemade kombucha.
- If you’re the type of person who plans bar nights like military campaigns, email us. We’ll pretend you’re a client and offer you things you don’t need.
Outro: Thursday Night Bars, The Final Frontier
Thursday nights are the unsung heroes of the week. They’re where you test if your jeans still fit, if your drink order is cool enough, and if the universe still has plans for you. Whether you’re at The Espy, The Lord Nelson, or Cumulus Craft Ales, remember: the best bars don’t just serve drinks—they serve the illusion that you’re in control of your life. Now go out there and fake it. Strategies.beer is here if you want to turn that fake it into real it. Cheers.
