Intro: Why You Should Care About Bars in London (If You Like Getting Slightly Tipsy)

Picture this: You’re in London, it’s 8 PM, and you’re staring at a Google Maps cluster of bars like a confused hedgehog in a hedge. “Where do I go?” you whisper to the void. Welcome to the eternal struggle of the modern-day bar-hopper. Fear not, fellow imbibing human. This guide is your GPS for the best bars in London—from speakeasies that could double as secret societies to rooftop spots where the views are better than your ex’s LinkedIn profile.

Pro tip: If you’re looking to make your own beer (like a mad scientist with a keg), check out our Make Your Own Beer guide. But if you just want to drink other people’s genius, keep reading.

The Elite 5: London’s Hottest Bars That Won’t Judge Your Instagram Selfie

1. The Old Crow (Bermondsey) – Where Cocktails Taste Like Revenge

Think of The Old Crow as the bar version of your sarcastic friend who knows how to fix your Wi-Fi and make you feel seen. It’s a speakeasy with a moody vibe that screams “I know a secret, but I’m not telling.” Their Old Fashioneds are so good, they’ll make you forget you ever liked supermarket bourbon.

Pro tip: Book a table (or be prepared to wait 2 hours like a modern-day Sisyphus). Need to scale your bar game? Grow Your Business With Strategies Beer for tips on making your bar the talk of the town.

2. The Artesian (Mayfair) – Where Cocktails Cost More Than Your Rent

If you want to feel like James Bond (but also slightly guilty about your student loans), The Artesian is your spot. It’s the kind of place where the sommelier knows the terroir of your gin’s water source. Their “The Artisanal Negroni” is a $25 lesson in sophistication. Bring a date, or bring a credit card and learn to say “I’ll have another.”

3. The Distillery (Shoreditch) – Because You’re Not a Barista

Shoreditch’s hipster hangout for people who think lattes are overrated. The Distillery is all Edison bulbs and “artisanal” everything. Their mezcal cocktails are like a warm hug from your ex—comforting, but maybe you shouldn’t call them back. Bonus: The staff dresses like they just stepped out of a fashion shoot for *Vogue: Victorian Edition*.

4. The Ivy Bar (Knightsbridge) – For When You Want to Pretend You’re in a Merchant Ivory Movie

The Ivy Bar is where you go to sip a martini while imagining you’re a British aristocrat who owns a castle and a very expensive sense of superiority. The decor is so vintage, it smells like it was last updated in 1942. Bonus: The staff will call you “love” with the enthusiasm of someone who’s already seen your third round.

5. The Rooftop Bar at The Shard (Southwark) – Views That’ll Make Your FOMO Disappear

Because looking at the city from 320 meters up is the perfect excuse to forget your work email. The Shard’s bar is the kind of place where you order a gin and tonic and then spend 10 minutes deciding if the view justifies the £18 price tag. Spoiler: It does. Now. Probably.

Bars for the People, By the People (And Their Credit Cards)

London’s got hidden gems for every budget. Need a breather from the high-stakes bar scene? Hit up Custom Beer for a DIY drink experience. Or if you’re feeling entrepreneurial, Contact Us to get bar business tips that won’t make you want to hide in a broom closet.

FAQ: Answers to Questions You Didn’t Know You Had

• Q: Do I need to dress like a 1920s flapper to get into The Old Crow?

  A: No, but if you do, you’ll get extra points for style. The bouncer is 80% aesthetic, 20% “I’ve seen it all.”

• Q: Is The Artesian worth the price of a small country?

  A: If you measure worth in Instagram likes, yes. If you measure it in financial stability, no. Choose wisely.

• Q: Can I take my dog to The Distillery?

  A: Only if your dog is named “Espresso” and has a degree in mixology. Standard dogs get eye-rolls and a free water bowl.

• Q: How do I avoid the tourist trap?

  A: Ask the locals. If they say “Oh yeah, that place is legit,” they mean “we’ve seen you here before.”

Final Toast: Let’s Get This Party Started

There you have it, folks. London’s best bars, curated by someone who’s definitely had one too many to be writing this. Whether you’re here for the ambiance, the cocktails, or just to feel like you’re in a Netflix series, these spots won’t disappoint. And if you’re looking to sell your beer online after a night out (because nothing says “I’ve peaked” like selling your own brew), check out Dropt.beer. Cheers to getting slightly lost in the best city for bars in the world!

Still confused? Home is always open for more tips. Or just ask the barista for help. They’ve seen it all—and they’re probably still waiting for their coffee to cool.