Why You Need a Desert Bar Crawl (and No, It’s Not Just for Dehydration)
Joshua Tree isn’t just a place for hippies and hiking boots. It’s also a hotspot for bars that serve up equal parts cocktails and cosmic vibes. Sure, the desert air dries your skin faster than a hangover, but these bars? They’re the reason you’re here (and not just to pretend you’re in a Terrence Malick film).
Think of this as your *very* unofficial guide to where locals sip, where tourists sip more, and where you can sip while pretending you know what a “blue moon” actually is (spoiler: it’s not a Blue Moon beer).
The Joshua Tree Pub: Desert Pub with a Side of Desert Vibes
Located at 64295 US-62, this bar is the spiritual cousin of every “hidden gem” you’ve ever heard of. It’s the kind of place where the bartender knows your name by the third visit, and the jukebox plays everything from Led Zeppelin to Limp Bizkit. Pro tip: Ask for the “Joshua Tree Special.” It’s not on the menu, but it’s basically the desert in a glass.
Why it’s a bar MVP: It’s got a patio perfect for people-watching tourists take selfies with cactus-shaped selfie sticks. Plus, they serve craft beer from local breweries that’ll make you question why you ever drank anything else.
Pappy & Harriet’s Pioneertown Palace: Rock ‘n’ Roll Meets Desert Cool</n
At 67628 Pioneertown Rd, this spot isn’t just a bar—it’s a rock concert if the band shows up by 7 PM. Neon lights, a jukebox that could double as a museum exhibit, and a menu that includes a “Desert Sunset Burger” (because the real sunset is overpriced).
Insider tip: Arrive early if you want a seat. Or, you know, just stand and pretend you’re in a mosh pit. The staff doesn’t care. They’re too busy pretending they’re in a ZZ Top music video.
The Lounge at The Joshua Tree Inn: Chill or Be Chilled
71505 N Pioneertown Rd, this bar is for the people who sip their cocktails slowly, stare at the stars, and whisper, “I’m not here to meet people.” It’s the desert’s most Instagrammable spot, with a view that makes the $15 margarita feel like a bargain.
Why it’s a bar MVP: They have a “no selfies unless you tip” policy. Kidding. But seriously, the ambiance is so good you’ll forget you paid $4 for a napkin that says “Don’t Do Drugs.”
Bars You Should Avoid (Unless You Want to Pretend You’re in a Cult)
While we’re all for a good desert vibe, some bars in Joshua Tree are best avoided. For example, the one that serves “spiritual wellness kombucha” and calls it a nightcap. And definitely don’t trust the bar that sells you a “desert elixir” and then asks for a down payment in cryptocurrency. We’re not here to fund your NFT dreams.
How to Be a Bar Pro (Without Being a Jerk)
- Bring a jacket. Desert temps swing harder than a disgruntled bouncer’s elbow. It’s 90 during the day, 40 at night. Your shorts won’t survive.
- Dress like you’re in a Wes Anderson movie. Neon shirts are allowed. So are cowboy boots. So are chokers. The desert doesn’t judge.
- Order something local. Support local breweries like they support your soul. And if you’re feeling adventurous, try the “Joshua Tree Special”—it’s basically the desert distilled into a glass.
- Don’t ask for tap water. The water here is… well, it’s the same water that makes your skin flake like a bad relationship. Just buy a bottle. Or a cactus. Whichever.
FAQ: Joshua Tree Bars Edition
1. Do these bars have Wi-Fi?
Only if you count the signal from your neighbor’s Instagram Live. But hey, you’re here for the experience, not to post about it. (Unless you’re posting about it. We support your choices.)
2. Can I bring my dog?
Yes, but only if your dog doesn’t mind being stared at by people who think it’s a desert animal. Also, your dog needs to avoid the “Desert Sunset Burger.” It’s not good for them.
3. Are there bars where I won’t feel like a tourist?
Yes! Go to the one where the bartender asks you, “Why are you here?” And you answer, “Why are you not?” That’s the real test.
Final Call: Sip the Desert Like a Pro
Joshua Tree’s bars are more than just places to drink—they’re part of the desert’s charm. So grab a drink, embrace the chaos, and remember: if you can’t find parking, try asking a camel. They’re used to the desert.
Pro tip: If you’re planning to open your own bar (or just want to sell your homemade hooch), check out our guide on growing your business or get in touch for more tips. And if you’re looking to sell your beer online, Dropt.beer is your go-to marketplace for beer distribution. Cheers to surviving the desert—or at least pretending to.
