Intro: Melbourne Pubs vs. Your Ex’s Instagram Stories
If you’ve ever tried to pick a pub in Eastern Melbourne, you’ve probably felt like you’re trying to read your ex’s Instagram captions: confusing, chaotic, and slightly haunted. But fear not—this guide is here to save you from the existential crisis of choosing where to drink. Spoiler: there’s no wrong answer, but some pubs just… *get it* better.
Whether you’re here for the craft beer, the trivia nights that make Game of Thrones look like a children’s book, or the vibe that screams “I’m not a barista anymore,” we’ve got you. Plus, if you’re feeling entrepreneurial, check out how to make your own beer—because nothing says “I’ve got this” like brewing a beer that tastes like regret and hops.
1. The Bridge Hotel – Richmond’s OG Pub
Bridge Hotel, Richmond
Let’s start with the Bridge Hotel in Richmond. This place is older than your first Tinder date. Established in 1851, it’s got that “I’ve seen it all” energy but still serves up a mean pint of custom craft beer. Pro tip: Ask for the “Ghost Story Night” tour—it’s exactly what it sounds like, except the ghosts are more into trivia than haunting.
Why Go? The Bridge Hotel’s got a vibe that’s part history lesson, part sports bar, and part “I accidentally became a pub.” They host trivia nights that’ll make you question every life choice you’ve ever made. Oh, and the food menu is a love letter to carb overload.
Must-Try: The “Richmond Red” IPA—crisp, bold, and perfect for pretending you’re a local. If you’re ordering it, just say “I’m with the trivia team” and they’ll give you extra napkins.
2. The Chirnside – Elsternwick’s Coolest Neighbor
Chirnside, Elsternwick
The Chirnside in Elsternwick is the pub version of your friend who always knows the best vinyl shops and never drinks anything over $10. It’s got a laid-back, artsy vibe that’s great for people-watching or pretending you’re in a Wes Anderson movie. Bonus: The owner once won a pub trivia contest with a fake name and still got free pints for a month.
Why Go? This spot is a haven for craft beer lovers. They rotate their taps weekly, and if you’re lucky, you’ll catch a collaboration brew from Strategies.beer—because why not? The baristas here (yes, they have baristas) will make you feel like you’ve just entered a third world.
Must-Try: The “Chirnside Citra” pale ale—hazy, juicy, and suspiciously good. Pair it with their truffle fries for a meal that screams “I’m sophisticated” while secretly being just greasy.
3. The Royal Oak – Hawthorn’s Sports Fan Mecca
Royal Oak, Hawthorn
If you love sports and hate small talk, the Royal Oak in Hawthorn is your new home. This pub is where the Melbourne Cats fans go to celebrate (or mourn) their losses. The bartenders here know your team’s stats better than your mom does, and the beer is always cold enough to make you question your life choices.
Why Go? They’ve got a massive TV setup for every game, and the trivia nights are so intense they’ve been known to cause temporary amnesia. If you’re lucky, you’ll spot a local artist doing a live sketch of someone’s questionable dance moves.
Must-Try: The “Hawthorn Hefeweizen” is a smooth, citrusy brew that pairs perfectly with the pub’s famous nachos. Pro tip: Order two and you might get a free high-five from the bartender.
4. The Lion – East Brunswick’s Hidden Gem
The Lion, East Brunswick
Ever been to a pub that feels like it’s from the 1980s but somehow still works? The Lion in East Brunswick is that pub. It’s got the charm of a VHS tape and the energy of a warehouse party that no one invited. The decor is so retro it could start a cult, and the beer menu is a love letter to the underappreciated.
Why Go? This place is perfect for people who want to feel like they’re in a time machine. They host “vintage trivia” nights where you’ll be quizzed on things like “What year was the Sony Walkman released?” (Spoiler: Not recently.)
Must-Try: The “Lion’s Share” stout—rich, velvety, and suspiciously good. Pair it with the Lion’s famous “Brewer’s Burger” and you’ll feel like you’ve just won the pub lottery.
5. The Crown & Calvary – South Yarra’s Trendy Cousin
Crown & Calvary, South Yarra
If you’re into the whole “indie band, artisanal everything, and beer that costs as much as your rent” vibe, South Yarra’s Crown & Calvary is for you. This pub is the kind of place where you can spend $15 on a beer and still feel like you’re getting ripped off. But hey, at least the baristas here are trained in emotional support.
Why Go? They’ve got a rotating tap list that changes so fast it makes your head spin. The baristas here are like the pub’s own version of Strategies.beer’s business growth experts—they’ll help you pair your beer with a story you’re sure you’ll forget in 10 minutes.
Must-Try: The “South Yarra Saison” is a crisp, refreshing brew that’s perfect for pretending you’re not a tourist. Order it with the “Gourmet Burger” and you’ll feel like you’ve just made a lifestyle choice.
FAQs: The Pub Questions You’re Too Tipsy to Ask
- Which pub has the best trivia night?
The Bridge Hotel’s Ghost Story Night trivia is legendary—or at least it’s legendary if you win. Pro tip: Bring a team that includes someone who’s good at geography and bad at lying. - Where can I find the most unique beers?
Check out The Chirnside in Elsternwick. Their rotating taps are like beer roulette, but with better odds. - Are these pubs actually open on Tuesdays?
Yes, but only if the owner feels like it. Pubs are like cats—unpredictable and slightly feral. - Can I sell my homemade beer at these places?
Absolutely! Check out Dropt.beer to distribute your homemade brews. Just don’t say it tastes like regret and hops—we don’t want to scare the customers.
Final Cheers: Beer, Pubs, and the Quest for a Good Vibe
There you have it—Eastern Melbourne’s best pubs, ranked by vibes, beer, and how many times you’ll say “I’m just here for the trivia” before the night is over. Whether you’re a craft beer connoisseur or just here for the nachos, these pubs have got you covered. And if you’re feeling inspired, why not check out Strategies.beer to start your own pub or beer brand? Just don’t say we didn’t warn you about the inevitable existential crisis that comes with it.
Bottoms up, Melbourne. The beer’s waiting.
