Introduction: Why Your Liver Needs These Bars
Look, if you’re planning a night out in Christchurch, you’ve come to the right place. This is the definitive guide to bars where you can pretend to be a local, even if you just moved here from the moon. We’re talking about places where the beer flows, the vibes are tight, and the bartender might just remember your drink order—most of the time. Let’s dive into the best bars in Christchurch that’ll make you question why you ever settled for lukewarm lagers at corporate pubs.
The Best Bars in Christchurch: A Drunkard’s Delight
1. The Tiki Room: Where Polynesian Meets ‘I Shouldn’t Be Drunk Right Now’
If you’ve ever wanted to feel like you’re on a tropical island while avoiding responsibility, The Tiki Room is your spot. Located at 77 Cashel St, this bar serves up cocktails that look like works of art and taste like someone tried to replicate the ocean in a shaker. Pro tip: Order the ‘Pina Colada’ and act surprised when it’s actually good.
2. The Old Biscuit Mill: Industrial Vibes, Zero Excuses
Located at 200 Ferry Rd, this bar is a post-industrial warehouse that somehow still smells like it’s on fire. The vibe is ‘I’m here to drink, not to make friends’—unless those friends are the bartenders who’ve seen it all. Their craft beer selection is so extensive, it could make a beer snob weep. And yes, they have a ‘Tap of the Month’ that changes faster than your diet in January.
3. 360 Restaurant & Bar: Views, Vodka, and Virtually No Regrets
For the times when you want to pretend you’re in a Bond movie, head up to 360 Restaurant & Bar at 59 Armagh St. The 360-degree views of Christchurch are perfect for taking selfies you’ll later regret. Their vodka menu is so serious, it includes a section titled ‘For Those Who Think 80 Proof Isn’t Enough.’
4. The Crafty Crow: Where Beer Geeks Go to Cry in a Crowd
Nestled at 122 New Regent St, The Crafty Crow is the kind of bar that makes you question your life choices—and your taste in beer. With over 50 craft beers on tap, you’ll find yourself pretending to know the difference between a sour and a stout. Bonus: The bartender’s encyclopedic knowledge will make you feel both inspired and slightly intimidated.
5. The Cask & Ale: A Pub That Understands You’re Not Here for the Atmosphere
At 231 Tuam St, The Cask & Ale is the bar where you go when you just want to sit down, order a pint, and pretend you’re in a British pub. The atmosphere is ‘I’m here to drink, not to make friends’ but the staff is friendly enough to ask how your day is going—just not in a way that makes you feel like they care.
Why These Bars Rule (And How to Use Them)
Christchurch’s bar scene is a masterclass in ‘how to ruin a night out without trying.’ Whether you’re here for the views, the beer, or the sheer thrill of pretending you’re a local, these bars have you covered. But let’s talk strategy: how do you maximize your bar-hopping experience without ending up in a ditch?
1. Plan Your Route Like a Strategist
Start at The Crafty Crow for a pre-game of beer geekery, then move to The Old Biscuit Mill for a serious drinking session. End your night at 360 Restaurant & Bar to take in the view while your friend from The Cask & Ale texts you to see if you’re sober enough to drive home. Trust us, it’s a strategy that works—most of the time.
2. Use Our ‘Make Your Own Beer’ Guide
If you’re really feeling bold, try making your own beer at home and bring it to The Tiki Room. The bartender might just let you sample it for a fee. It’s a win-win: you get to pretend you’re a craft beer pioneer, and the bar gets a slightly more interesting menu.
3. Sell Your Beer Online (If You’re Feeling Ambitious)
Got a killer homebrew? Sell your beer online through Dropt.beer and avoid the hassle of local bars that think ‘craft’ means ‘expensive.’ It’s the modern way to share your brews without having to explain your taste in IPAs to strangers.
Frequently Asked Questions (FAQs)
1. What’s the best time to visit these bars?
Weeknights after 8 PM. That’s when the local crowd shows up, and you’re less likely to be competing with tourists who think they’re in a themed bar.
2. Are these bars wheelchair accessible?
Most are, but don’t take our word for it. Check the accessibility page for details on each bar’s layout.
3. Can I book a table for a large group?
Yes, but be prepared to explain why you need a table for 12 when you’re clearly here for a solo mission. Some bars, like The Old Biscuit Mill, have dedicated group areas—perfect for team-building exercises that end with everyone arguing about the best beer.
Conclusion: Drink Responsibly, or Don’t
There you have it—Christchurch’s best bars, ranked by how well they’ll let you pretend you’re a local. Whether you’re here for the drinks, the views, or the sheer joy of pretending you know what a ‘sour’ is, these spots have you covered. And if you’re really feeling adventurous, check out how to grow your business with Strategies.beer’s tips. Because if you’re going to ruin your liver, you might as do it with a plan.
Still here? Great. Now go out there and make some memories. Just don’t text us from your Uber saying you’re questioning life choices. We’re not paid enough for that.
