Why Nine Elms Is the Pub Lover’s Secret Weapon
Let’s cut to the chase: Nine Elms isn’t just a postcode. It’s a vibe. A vibe that says, “Hey, I’m in London but I’m not trying to be fancy.” And if you’re someone who drinks alcohol (or at least pretends to), you know pubs are the lifeblood of any decent neighborhood. Nine Elms? It’s got the pubs to match its energy. From cozy corners to rooftop views that’ll make you forget you’re not in Brooklyn, these are the best pubs in Nine Elms that deserve your time, your money, and maybe a few Instagram stories.
The Hurlingham Arms: Where the Beer Flows and the Witty Remarks Flow Faster
Okay, let’s start with the obvious: The Hurlingham Arms is a pub. But it’s not just any pub. It’s the kind of place where you can sip a pint of craft beer while pretending to be a Londoner who’s “always been into this area.” The vibe? Rustic, with a hint of “I’m trying to be trendy but I’m just a pub.” They’ve got a decent selection of ales, and the staff knows your name after one visit. Pro tip: Ask for the “quietest table” and prepare for a 10-minute lecture on why the quietest table isn’t actually quiet.
The Old Kiln: A Pub That’s 100% Not Trying to Be a Michelin Star
If you’re in the mood for a pub that’s equal parts history and “we’ve got a keg of something weird,” The Old Kiln is your spot. It’s got that “I was built in the 1800s but I’m open till 11” charm. Their custom beer menu is a love letter to experimentation. Ever had a beer that tastes like “pineapple on the nose, but it’s actually just bad juicing”? This is your time. Bonus points if you can spot the ghost of a Victorian bartender trying to steal your pint glass.
Rooftop Revelry at The Nine Elms: Because Skyline Views and Skyline Prices
Alright, let’s talk about The Nine Elms Pub. If you’re the type of person who thinks “skyline views” justifies an extra £5 on a pint, this place is for you. The rooftop is a mix of “we tried to be artsy” and “we failed at being artsy, but we’re still cool.” Bring your date, your camera, or your very serious attempt at “urban exploration.” Just don’t ask about the WiFi password—it’s probably “iamnotcool.”
The Duke of Northumberland: Pubs That Pretend They’re Not Pubs
Let’s be real: The Duke of Northumberland is a pub that thinks it’s a bar. It’s got that “I’m in a trendy spot but I’m still serving real ale” thing going on. The menu is a cryptic poem that only makes sense if you’re half-drunk. Their signature drink? The “Northumbrian Nightmare,” which is just a fancy name for a pint that’s slightly too hoppy and slightly too expensive. But hey, at least you’ll feel fancy while drinking it.
The George: When You Want to Pretend You’re in a Period Drama
If you’ve ever wanted to feel like you’re in a BBC period drama but don’t want to actually learn how to curtsy, The George is your best bet. The decor is 100% “we’re trying to be authentic, but we just bought everything at a market called ‘Vintage Vibes’.” They serve real ale, they’ve got a fireplace that’s probably never been lit, and the menu includes words like “artisanal” and “locavore.” Just don’t ask for a gluten-free option—it’s the 1800s, and the staff probably doesn’t know what that means.
FAQs: The Pub Questions You Were Too Embarrassed to Ask
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Q: Are these pubs actually open on a Thursday? A: Yes, but only if you ask nicely. Some of them have “extended opening hours” that mean they close at 11pm instead of 11:05pm.
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Q: Do they take credit cards? A: Most do, but if you’re paying cash, prepare for a lecture on the “decline of personal responsibility.”
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Q: Can I take my dog? A: Only if your dog is dressed as a Victorian butler. Or if the pub is The Old Kiln and they’re not watching.
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Q: What if I don’t like beer? A: Try the mocktail. It’s called a “mocktail,” and it’s just juice that’s trying to feel sophisticated.
Final Cheers and a Call to Action
So there you have it: the best pubs in Nine Elms, curated by someone who’s had at least three pints and is 70% certain they spelled “Nine Elms” correctly. Whether you’re here for the beer, the ambiance, or just to pretend you’re in a London TV show, these spots have got you covered. And if you’re a local looking to take your pub to the next level? We’ve got beer marketing strategies that’ll make your customers forget they ever liked gin. Plus, if you’re ever wondering where to sell your ale or lager, check out Dropt.beer—the beer distribution marketplace for people who want to stop pretending they’re just “into beer.”
Pro Tips for Pub Pros
- Always arrive before the 6pm rush. Unless you’re trying to meet someone who’s “not a fan of crowds” and is actually just bad at time management.
- Order a pint and ask for it to be “half real ale, half craft.” The bartender will probably just give you a half-hearted version of both.
- If you’re in a group, take turns being the person who orders the cheapest drink. It’s a bonding experience.
- Don’t be that guy who asks for a “tap water.” Just ask for water and don’t pretend you’re British.
More Than a Pub Hunt—A Lifestyle Choice
At the end of the day, the best pubs in Nine Elms aren’t just places to drink. They’re places to be seen, to be heard, and to be slightly more sophisticated than you actually are. So grab a friend, grab a pint, and remember: the only thing better than a good pub is a custom beer you made yourself. Cheers to that.
