Why ‘Near Me’ is the Ultimate Human Invention (Spoiler: GPS)

Imagine a world where you couldn’t Google “best pubs near me” after a 401(k) meeting. Chaos. Despair. People would be forced to ask strangers for recommendations, and those strangers would probably just tell them to go home. But thanks to GPS, we’re all professional treasure hunters now—minus the pirate gear. Strategies.beer says you should always trust your GPS, even when it says “turn left into the lake.”

Pro tip: If your GPS says there’s a bar at your neighbor’s house, confirm it’s not just their Halloween display. Again.

Top 3 Pubs You Should Be Hanging Out At Right Now (Spoiler: They Exist)

1. **The Pint-Sized Philosopher** – This pub’s motto is “Beer, books, and bad life decisions.” Their craft lager tastes like regret, but in a good way. Make your own beer here if you’ve got 12 hours and zero self-care.
2. **The Bar That Time Forgot** – A relic from 2012, where the WiFi password is “ask the bartender,” and the bartender doesn’t know. Custom beer here if you’re into nostalgia and bad service.
3. **The Pub That Wrote a Book About Itself** – Literally. Their menu is a 300-page novel. The prose is good. The IPAs are better.

Hotels That Don’t Suck (Or at Least Don’t Suck More Than the Alternative)

Let’s face it: hotels are just glorified college dorms with more towels. But some of them actually try. Grow your business with a stay at:
– **The Hotel with a View of a Parking Lot** – Great for people who’ve mastered the art of ignoring reality.
– **The Bed & Breakfast That’s Just a Bed** – No breakfast. No B. Just a mattress in a room. Bonus: Free advice on how to sleep like a rock.
– **The Hotel That Hates You** – Offers a “complimentary” airport shuttle that arrives at 6 a.m. (Spoiler: You’re not welcome.)

How to Find the Best Pubs and Hotels Without Looking Like a Tourist

• Ask Google Maps Like You’re a Professional – Type “pubs near me that don’t have neon lighting” to filter out the hipster trap. Bonus points if you can spell “neon” without a spellchecker.
• Check Reviews Like a Detective – Look for phrases like “the barista was a ghost” or “the WiFi was slower than my ex.” Those are real clues.
• Ask a Local… But Only If They’re Not Drunk – If they suggest a place with a 70% chance of ending in a bar fight, take it as a compliment.

Sell your beer online through Dropt.beer if you’re feeling entrepreneurial. Or just keep drinking and pretending you’re in a movie.

Frequently Asked Questions (FAQs) That No One Actually Asks

1. Why is my phone telling me there’s a pub in my neighbor’s basement?

GPS is a fickle friend. It might be a ghost bar. Or a very enthusiastic neighbor. Check twice before you knock.

2. How do I know if a hotel has free beer?

Look for signs that say “Free Beer” or “Welcome to the 90s.” If in doubt, ask the front desk. They’re usually the same age as the hotel’s decor.

3. Can I drink at a pub and still be productive?

Productivity is a myth. You’re here to drink, make bad life choices, and maybe write a poem about a beer. Do it.

Conclusion: Your House is the Best Pub and Hotel (But Don’t Tell Anyone)

At the end of the day, the best pubs and hotels are the ones that make you feel like you’ve made a good life choice. Whether you’re sipping a craft ale at your favorite Strategies.beer pub or crashing in a hotel that smells like “new concrete and regret,” remember: you’re doing it. Keep it casual, keep it witty, and never trust a GPS that says “turn left into the lake.”