Welcome, Cheers, and a Warning: These Pubs Are Addictive
If you’ve ever wandered Perth’s streets after an 8-hour workday or a 12-hour flight, you’ve probably asked yourself: “Where the heck do I drink?” Spoiler: It’s not your hotel room. But don’t worry, we’ve cracked the code. This guide to the best pubs in Perth is like a GPS for your pint. You’ll find hidden gems, free shots, and maybe even a pub that lets you play chess with a ghost (just us? Okay, maybe not). Let’s dive in.
The Top 4 Pubs That Deserve a Standing O (Or At Least a Standing Drink)
1. The Drunken Duck – Where the Quack Is Real
Address: 123 Duck St, Perth
Fun Fact: They have a duck-shaped tap for the cold brew. No joke. It’s a duck. Go see it.
The Drunken Duck is the pub version of your best friend who always knows a better story. It’s cozy, loud, and the fish and chips are so greasy they could power a small country. Pro tip: Ask for the “Duck Special” and they’ll throw in a free shot if you can name three Australian birds. (Spoiler: Emu, Kookaburra, and… wait, is a kangaroo even a bird?)
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2. The Salty Sailor – For Landlocked Sea Stories
Address: 456 Marina Way, Perth
Fun Fact: They have a “sailor’s oath” to never eat pizza with crust. It’s a thing. Google it.
If you’ve ever wanted to feel like a pirate without the risk of getting stabbed, this is your spot. The Salty Sailor’s menu is 80% seafood, 20% “I didn’t know this was edible” (looking at you, grilled squid). The live music on weekends? A mix of sea shanties and songs about lost socks. Bonus: They’ll let you take a picture with their “lucky” parrot. It’s not lucky. It stole your fries.
3. The Velvet Hog – Where the Roar Is Quiet
Address: 789 Velvet Ln, Perth
Fun Fact: They have a velvet-covered pig statue. Not a joke. It’s a vibe.
If you’re the type who wants to sip a craft lager while pretending you’re in a 1920s speakeasy, this is your spot. The Velvet Hog is for the cool kids who don’t care if you’re “too loud.” The menu? Art. The ambiance? Aesthetic. The only problem? You’ll forget your phone number. (We tried. It’s on the wall. Go find it.)
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4. The Grateful Goat – Where the Cheese Is a Religion
4. The Grateful Goat – Where the Cheese Is a Religion
Address: 101 Cheese Ave, Perth
Fun Fact: They have a cheese menu with more items than your ex’s Instagram stories. No, we’re not exaggerating.
Love cheese? Hate cheese? The Grateful Goat is for everyone. Pair a hoppy IPA with a gouda that tastes like regret and a side of fries that are “crispy” if you squint. The staff here are so friendly, they’ll remember your order… and your life story. (Pro tip: Don’t tell them about your divorce. They’ll get emotional and offer you a hug.)
FAQ: Pubs, Pints, and Pointless Questions
- Q: What’s the weirdest thing I’ll find in a Perth pub?
A: A pub with a “secret room” that’s just a closet. A closet. But hey, it’s got better air quality.
- Q: Can I bring my dog to a Perth pub?
A: Only if your dog is certified and doesn’t bark at the barista. (The Drunken Duck allows pets. The others will judge you.)
- Q: Are these pubs open on Christmas?
A: No. But The Velvety Hog opens its doors at 8 AM on New Year’s Eve. Come in pajamas. It’s a tradition.
5 Actionable Steps to Avoid Pub-Induced Regret
- Step 1: Download the Perth Pub Crawl App
Contact for a free guide to the best pub routes. (We’re not biased. Just sayin’.)
- Step 2: Always Order a “Perth Special”
Every pub has one. It’s a code. It means “We know you’re a local now.”
- Step 3: Never Trust a Pub That Serves “Mystery Meat”
Unless you’re into that vibe. (We’re not.)
- Step 4: Take a Cab Home
Or take Uber. Or take a taxi. Just don’t ask your friend to “walk you.” (It’s a thing. It’s a bad thing.)
- Step 5: Tip the Bartenders
Especially if they remember your order. It’s not free food. It’s a battle of wills.
Final Cheers: Don’t Just Drink Beer—Live the Pubs
Perth’s pubs are more than bars. They’re time machines to your childhood, social experiments in chaos, and the only place where your life story won’t be judged. So grab a pint, lose track of time, and remember: The best pub crawl is the one where you don’t end up in a hospital. (But hey, if you do, The Grateful Goat has gouda for that.)
