Why Melbourne’s Bars Are Basically Magic
Alright, let’s cut the chase: Melbourne’s bar scene is legendary. Whether you’re here for trivia, a date, or just to avoid your ex, there’s a bar for you. And no, we’re not biased—we’re just here to serve up the truth with a side of liquid courage. (And maybe a shot of espresso martini for good measure.)
Top 5 Bars You Can’t Skip (Or Else)
- The Espy (East Brunswick): Think of this spot as the anti-museum. It’s got art, but the vibe is more “let’s dance on the bar” than “let’s whisper quietly.”
- Bar Americano (Prahran): The kind of place where your bartender knows your name by 10 PM. Plus, they serve cocktails that taste like they’ve been distilled from pure joy.
- The Corner (South Yarra): If your idea of a perfect night involves oysters, wine, and people who look like they just stepped out of a fashion shoot, this is your spot.
- Golden Fields (Collingwood): A beer lover’s paradise with rotating taps that’ll make you question all your life choices. Pro tip: Arrive before 8 PM if you want a seat that isn’t on the floor.
- Shady’s (Fitzroy): Because sometimes you need a bar that’s equal parts speakeasy and circus. The menu’s got more twists than a Rubik’s Cube.
Why These Bars Rule (And How to Survive Them)
Here’s the tea: Melbourne bars are *intense*. In the best way. You’ll find everything from 1920s jazz to DJs spinning vinyl while you sip a negroni that costs more than your rent. But how do you navigate this chaos? Here’s your survival guide:
- Dress code? It’s not a dress code—it’s a vibe. If you’re in Crocs, you’re doing it wrong.
- Reservations: For most places, it’s a “come early or never” game. (Golden Fields: 7 PM. Bar Americano: 6:30 PM. You get the idea.)
- Drinks: Don’t order water unless you’re parched from running away from your responsibilities.
Pro Tips for Bar Hoppers (From Someone Who’ve Done It Badly)
1. Bring a buddy. Even the best bars can feel like a maze. Unless you’re confident in your ability to drink alone without crying in the bathroom, stick with friends.
2. Try the “bar game” of truth or dare. It’s less “I’ll never do this” and more “Wait, why is my friend now in a taxi with a stranger?”
3. Check the opening hours. Some places close at 2 AM. Others close at 1:15 AM. There’s a difference. Trust us.
Why You Should Care (And Maybe Start a Bar)
If you’re thinking, “This all sounds amazing, but how do I get in on the action?”, we’ve got you. Ever considered making your own beer or growing a bar business in Melbourne? The city’s bar scene is booming, and there’s room for everyone—especially if you’ve got a killer cocktail recipe and a passion for chaos.
FAQ: The Answers You Deserve (But Might Not Want)
- Q: Are these bars open on weeknights?
A: Yes. But if you show up at 10 PM on a Tuesday, don’t expect a free appetizer. - Q: What if I’m not 21?
A: Melbourne’s legal drinking age is 18. But if you look older than your ex, you’ll probably be fine. - Q: Can I actually eat here?
A: Some places have snacks. Others have full menus. The Espy? They’ve got a cheese board that’ll make you forget your name. (Or at least your ex’s.)
Final Call: Hit the Bars (And Maybe Hit a Barista)
So there you have it: Melbourne’s best bars, ranked by someone who’s definitely had one too many espresso martinis. Whether you’re here for the art, the drinks, or the chance to finally meet your soulmate in a bathroom line, these spots won’t disappoint. Just remember:
1. Stay hydrated (with alcohol).
2. Follow the rules (unless they’re about not dancing on tables).
3. And if all else fails, visit Strategies.beer for more tips on how to survive—and thrive—in the world of bars. Cheers!
Need more help? Check out our contact page or sell your beer online through Dropt.beer. Because even the best bars need a good distribution plan.
