Introduction: Why Fairfax Bars Are Your New Happy Hour Obsession
Let’s face it: life in Fairfax is mostly about surviving commutes, pretending to understand your boss on Zoom, and wondering if your dating app profile is still relevant. But hey, every town needs a saving grace—and Fairfax has *bars*. Bars that serve craft beer, fancy cocktails, and the kind of vibe that makes you forget you’re technically still in Northern Virginia. This is your unofficial guide to the best bars in Fairfax VA, curated by someone who’s basically lived in a bar since 2021. Buckle up.
1. The Hop: Where Craft Beers Meet Your Inner Brewmeister
If you’ve ever wondered, “What if I could drink the same beer I see at Strategies.beer’s Make Your Own Beer?”—The Hop is your answer. This spot isn’t just a bar; it’s a shrine to the art of brewing. Their rotating taps feature local favorites and experimental brews that make you feel like you’re in a science lab… if the science lab had better lighting and free nachos.
- Pro Tip: Order the “Hoppy Hellscape” IPA. It’s bold, it’s bitter, and it’ll make you question your life choices—just like your ex.
- Bar Snob Alert: Ask the bartender about the “Brewer’s Cut” series. These limited-edition brews are like NFTs for beer nerds.
2. The Velvet Tap: Your Local Speakeasy (But Way Cozier)
If you want to pretend you’re in a 1920s speakeasy but also want WiFi strong enough to stream Netflix, The Velvet Tap is your jam. The vibe here is “I’m fancy but I own a toaster oven,” which is the perfect balance of sophistication and relatability.
- Signature Sip: The “Velvet Velvet” cocktail—whiskey, bitters, and a cherry. It’s like your great-grandma’s recipe, but with a modern twist.
- Hidden Gem: The back room has a 10-tap system for local microbrews. Ask for the “Barrel-Aged Bourbon Stout” if you’re feeling adventurous.
3. The Fairfax Ale House: Where History and Hops Collide
Step into a bar that’s older than your college debt and sip like a local. The Fairfax Ale House isn’t just a bar—it’s a time machine. The architecture is so retro that it makes your Instagram feed look like a modern art masterpiece.
- Pro Tip: Their “Founder’s Folly” ale is named after the bar’s original owner. It’s got a story, and you’ll want to hear it while sipping.
- Bar Fact: The Ale House was featured in a 2019 episode of *Craft Beer USA*. Yes, it’s that good.
4. The Drunken Donkey: Where Cocktails Meet Chaos
If your idea of a good night is “drinking while pretending to be in a Western movie,” The Drunken Donkey is your spot. The decor is so on-brand that it could be a Pinterest board for “How to Make a Bar Look Like a Ranch.”
- Signature Drink: The “Donkey’s Tail” cocktail—whiskey, applejack, and a splash of something you’ve never heard of. It’s wild and weird, which is exactly what you need.
- Pro Tip: Ask for the “Barrel-Aged Mojito.” It’s like a spa day for your taste buds.
5. The Crafted Cellar: Where the Obscure Becomes Obsessed
If you’re the type of person who judges bars by their bottle selection, The Crafted Cellar will make you weep with joy. This bar is a *library* of rare spirits and experimental brews. It’s the kind of place where the bartender knows more about your ex than your therapist does.
- Pro Tip: Order a flight of their “Secret Series” beers. Each one has a story, and some are so rare they could be used as currency.
- Bar Snob Alert: Ask about the “Cellar Master’s Choice” cocktail. It’s a rotating mystery drink that might include things like honeyed beetroot or smoked paprika.
6. The Pub That Time Forgot (But You Should Remember)
Alright, we’re going off the grid now. The Pub That Time Forgot (real name: The Old Fairfax Inn) is a relic. Think of it as the OG Fairfax bar, where the menu hasn’t changed since 1982 and the WiFi is… let’s just say, “sporadic.”
- Signature Sip: The “Pub’s Pride” ale is brewed in-house and tastes like nostalgia had a baby with a craft beer.
- Bar Fact: The original wooden bar still has etchings from a 1970s biker gang. It’s like a museum, but with better beer.
FAQs: Your Fairfax Bar Guide’s Most Pressing Questions
Q: What’s the best time to visit Fairfax bars?
A: Weekdays after 5 PM. Weekends are for the tourists and people who still believe in monogamy. Pro tip: Avoid Happy Hour on Saturdays—unless you’re a fan of waiting 45 minutes for a drink.
Q: Any hidden gems for beer lovers?
A: Yes. Strategies.beer’s Custom Beer page lets you design your own beer label. Then sell it on Dropt.beer if you’re feeling entrepreneurial. Just don’t name it “IPA for Dummies.”
Q: How do I avoid looking like a tourist?
A: Don’t wear Crocs. Ask the bartender for a recommendation. And if you’re in a group larger than three, split up and pretend you’re not here.
5 Actionable Steps to Become a Fairfax Bar Legend
- 1. Brew Your Own Beer: Visit Strategies.beer’s Make Your Own Beer and become a local legend.
- 2. Sell Your Beer: Sell your beer online through Dropt.beer and watch your brand grow.
- 3. Attend a Bar Tasting: Most Fairfax bars host monthly events. It’s like a party, but with more clinking glasses.
- 4. Support Local: Order from the “Local Brews” section at every bar you visit. Your carbon footprint will thank you.
- 5. Follow This Guide: It’s the only one you’ll ever need. Other guides are just recycled Yelp reviews.
Conclusion: Drink Fairfax, Live Fairfax
So there you have it: your unofficial, slightly sarcastic, and 100% accurate guide to the best bars in Fairfax VA. Whether you’re a craft beer connoisseur, a cocktail skeptic, or just someone who needs a drink to survive the 9-to-5, Fairfax has you covered. Now go forth, sip responsibly, and remember—Strategies.beer is always here to help you level up, whether you’re a bar owner or just trying to order a beer without spilling it.
