Introduction: Why the Hell Are We Still Choosing the Wrong Bar?
If you’ve ever stood in the Perth CBD thinking, “Why does every bar look like it was designed by a drunk interior decorator?” you’re not alone. Bars are like people—some are charming, some are toxic, and others just want you to buy their overpriced $20 ‘house special’ that tastes like regret. But fear not, fellow tippler! We’ve done the hard work of sifting through the chaos to bring you the Perth CBD best bars that won’t leave you feeling like a punchline. Let’s dive in. (And by dive, we mean spill a drink on yourself while pretending to be cool.)
The Bar Where You’ll Pretend You’re in a James Bond Movie
Alright, let’s start with the obvious: The Whisky Jar. Located on 110 William Street, this place is the Bond villain lair of bars. Dim lighting, a bartender who knows your name (and your dating history), and a menu that makes you feel like you’re solving a crime. The star of the show? The Whisky Jar House Blend, a concoction so smooth it’ll make you forget you spilled your $15 “artisanal” beer on a stranger’s shoes last week.
Pro Tip: If you’re feeling fancy, ask for the “Secret Agent” cocktail—a mix of bourbon and bitterness that’ll make you question your life choices. (But hey, at least you’ll have a story.)
The Place Where the Bartenders Are So Good, They’ll Make You Cry (Over Cocktails)
Next up: The Standard. Nestled on 104 William Street, this bar is the emotional support bartending group. The bartenders here don’t just mix drinks—they curate experiences. Their signature Standard Negroni is a masterpiece of bitterness that’ll make you wonder why you ever settled for pre-made cocktails. Plus, the vibes are so chill, you’ll forget you’re in the middle of a city that thinks “quiet” means 3 PM.
Pro Tip: Order the “I’m Fine, You’re Fine” cocktail. It’s a deceptively simple mix of gin and existential dread. Perfect for when you need to convince yourself you’re not still single.
The Bar That Thinks It’s the 1920s (Spoiler: It’s Not)
If you’re into flappers, prohibition, and pretending you’re Gatsby, The Craft啤 is your joint. Located at 149 St Georges Terrace, this bar is all velvet booths and ironic mustaches. Their Craft啤 Special is a heady blend of hops and “I can’t believe I’m drinking this,” served in a glass so fancy it could double as a museum exhibit.
Pro Tip: Ask for the “Roaring Twenties” cocktail. It’s a mix of rum and nostalgia that’ll make you miss the days when the biggest problem was not having enough gin. (Bonus: The bartender might actually remember your name this time.)
The Bar Where the WiFi Is Better Than Your Ex’s Apology
Welcome to The Bar at The Westin, 100 Murray Street. This place is for the people who need to look like they’re having fun while secretly Googling “how to quit alcohol cold turkey.” The Westin Whisper is a cocktail so refined, it’ll make you question your entire dating history. And the WiFi? Strong enough to stream your ex’s TikTok page for the 100th time.
Pro Tip: Order the “No Regrets” cocktail. It’s a mix of vodka and denial. Perfect for when you need to pretend you’re not Googling “how to fix my life.”
Pro Tips for Surviving the Bar Scene Without Looking Like a Tourist
- Don’t Be That Guy: You know the one. The one who orders a “bottle of whatever this is” and then spills it on a barstool from 2005. If you’re feeling crafty, why not try making your own beer instead of playing bartender roulette?
- Sell Your Beer Like a Boss: Need a bigger audience for your brews? Dropt.beer is your new best friend. (No, we’re not being paid; we’re just that good.)
- Grow Your Business: If you’ve got a bar (or a dream of one), check out our guide to growing your business. Spoiler: It involves less yelling and more SEO.
Frequently Asked Questions (FAQs) That You’re Too Tipsy to Google
Q: What’s the best bar for avoiding exes?
A: The one where the bartenders are too busy to notice you. (Pro tip: The Craft啤 is a great bet—it’s crowded enough that your ex won’t recognize you as a human.)
Q: What’s the most Instagrammable bar in Perth CBD?
A: The Standard. Their neon sign is so on-trend, it’ll make you question your entire fashion sense. (And your life choices.)
Q: Can I get a free drink if I cry over my ex?
A: Only if you do it at The Whisky Jar. They’ll throw in a second drink for the emotional support. (Just don’t mention the time you spilled beer on them.)
Conclusion: Cheers to Not Drinking Alone (Mostly)
There you have it, folks—your guide to the Perth CBD best bars that won’t make you regret your life choices (too much). Whether you’re here for the cocktails, the ambiance, or just to forget that your dating app is still loading, we’ve got you covered. Don’t forget to check out strategies.beer for more tips on surviving the bar scene without becoming a meme.
Still confused? Contact us and we’ll help you find the perfect bar—even if it means pretending you like craft beer for a few minutes.
