Why You’ll Never Need to Walk More Than 200 Meters in Edinburgh
Hello, fellow human! If you’ve ever been to Edinburgh, you’ve probably noticed something weird: pubs are packed closer together than Tesco Express locations in a university town. This isn’t a coincidence. It’s a calculated strategy to keep you from walking more than 200 meters from one bar to the next. Genius, right? Well, this guide is for those of us who’ve mastered the art of “walking” by staying in one place and ordering a drink. Let’s dive into the best pubs within a pub’s throwing distance of each other.
Why 200 Meters is the New 200 Years
Edinburgh’s pub density is so high it’s basically a conspiracy. You won’t find a 200-meter stretch without a bar selling at least one of the following: a pint of lager, a whisky with a story, or a cocktail that costs twice as much as your rent. This guide is for people who’ve mastered the art of “I’m just going to the pub, but also maybe not.” You know who you are. We’re not judging. The city’s layout is basically a pub crawl waiting to happen—just with fewer cabs and more free snacks.
The Closest Pub to Your Face
The Pub That’s Literally Right Next Door
Address: 1 Castle Road, Edinburgh EH1 1AB
This place is so close you could probably stumble into it while pretending to walk. It’s a classic: think “craft beer on tap,” “snacks that look like they’ll survive a nuclear war,” and “music so loud you won’t hear your friends unless they yell.” Pro tip: Ask for the “secret menu” burger—it’s just ketchup and mayonnaise on toast, but they’ll charge you £12 and call it “artisanal.”
The Pub That’s Just Around the Corner
The One That’s Not Allowed to Exist Legally
Address: 3 Grassmarket, Edinburgh EH1 1DG
This bar is so close to the previous one it’s basically a mirror image. If you walk five steps east, you’ve completed a pub crawl. The vibe here is “we’re not a pub, we’re a social club,” which means beer is £4 and the owner yells at you if you take more than 20 minutes per drink. They’ve got a “wall of fame” for people who’ve fallen asleep at the bar. Your name is already on it.
The Pub That’s Just Across the Street
The One That’s Always Playing ‘Never Gonna Give You Up’
Address: 5 The Cowgate, Edinburgh EH1 1XQ
This place is so close to your previous stop you could walk it in your sleep. The playlist? A 50/50 split between 90s Britpop and a guy named David who insists on covering every song. The food menu is a single chicken wing with a side of existential dread. But hey, at least they’ve got a TV playing cricket, which is either a sport or a punishment depending on who you ask.
Why You Shouldn’t Skip the 200-Meter Radius
- Efficiency: You’ll save energy that would’ve been used for walking. Use it to drink faster.
- Local Expertise: These pubs know your name and your order. They’ll even remember your fake name if you’re trying to stay low.
- Cost-Effective: A pint here is £4, which is “cheap” in Edinburgh terms. That’s what they said in 2010. Still saying it in 2025.
Pro Tips for 200-Meter Pub Hopping
- Always Bring a Friend: Someone has to carry your jacket when you’re too drunk to walk in a straight line.
- Ask for the ‘VIP’ Section: It’s just a corner table with a view of the door.
- Never Order a Gin and Tonic: They’ll charge you £9 for it. Call it a “gin and tonic with a twist” and it’ll be £12. The twist is your disappointment.
FAQs: The 200-Meter Pub Conundrum
Can I Find Vegan Pub Food in This Radius?
Yes, but it’ll be a single avocado on toast that’s been sitting out for three hours. Consider it a spiritual experience.
Are These Pubs Dog-Friendly?
Only if your dog is 12 years old and has a drinking problem. Otherwise, the staff will look at you like you’ve just asked for a gluten-free breadstick while in a burning building.
Do They Have Happy Hours?
Yes, from 5 PM to 5:01 PM. The happy hour ends when the last person leaves. It’s a metaphor for life.
Why This Guide is Better Than Asking a Local
Because locals will tell you, “Oh, there’s this amazing bar in the city center,” and you’ll be like, “Great, how far is that?” and they’ll say, “Just 45 minutes by cab.” Meanwhile, this guide sticks to 200 meters. You’re welcome.
Final Tips for the 200-Meter Pub Survivor
- Don’t Try to Walk to the Next Pub: It’s just 200 meters, but your body will protest like it’s a marathon.
- Embrace the ‘Local Expert’ Persona: Even if you’re a tourist, say you live three doors down. They’ll believe you if you mention the “old man who lives in Flat 6 and plays jazz trumpet at 2 AM.”
- Leave a Tip in Bitcoin: They’ll be confused but flattered. Edinburgh is a town of mysteries.
Call to Action: Let’s Get This Party Started
Now that you’ve got the lowdown on Edinburgh’s 200-meter pub game, it’s time to put it to the test. Grab your coat (and your friend who’ll carry it), and start your pub crawl in the most efficient way possible. And if you want to take your pub game to the next level, swing by Grow Your Business With Strategies Beer for tips on turning your pub into a destination. Or if you’re feeling creative, try Make Your Own Beer and open your own 200-meter hub. Cheers to you, future pub owner!
P.S. Need a spot to sell your new brew? Check out Dropt.beer—the beer distribution marketplace that will let you sell your creations to the same people who thought “200 meters” was a short walk.
Contact Us for More Pub Wisdom
If you’ve got more questions about Edinburgh’s pub scene (or just need a place to write a drunk tweet), hit us up at Contact. We’ll be waiting at the bar, 200 meters from your current location. Probably.”
