Why Finding the Best Bars is a Full-Time Job
Let’s face it: finding a bar that doesn’t serve lukewarm lagers or charge $20 for a tap water is harder than explaining why you still use a flip phone. You’d think in the age of Google Maps, we’d have cracked this code, but no—half the bars in your city are run by ghosts who think “craft beer” means a Solo cup with a candy necklace. Fear not, fellow bar-hopper. This guide will help you navigate the minefield of overpriced cocktails and underwhelming ambiance using nothing but wit, a phone, and maybe a friendly local.
How to Hunt for Bars Like a Pro
- Ask a Local: Yeah, that weird person who yelled at their phone about their taxes? They probably knows a bar with a hidden speakeasy vibe. Ask them. Pro tip: If they say “my cousin’s place,” it’s either amazing or a meth lab. You decide.
- Follow the Crowd: If a bar has a line snaking around the block, it’s either a) legendary, b) free trivia night, or c) someone forgot they’re in a pandemic. Still, the crowd’s energy usually tells you all you need to know.
- Check the Craft Beer Cred: A bar with more than three types of IPAs (and no, “IPA” doesn’t mean they’re all the same) is worth a shot. If they can’t pronounce the brewery name without a laugh track, keep walking.
Real-Life Bar Success Stories
Let’s get real: we all need examples. Here are three bars that somehow slipped past Yelp’s algorithm and into our hearts:
1. The Drunken Scribe
Address: 1234 Whiskey Lane, Brooklyn, NY
This bar’s claim to fame? A library of rare whiskeys and a bartender who can debate the merits of peat smoke with a straight face. Bonus: They host a monthly “Whiskey Poetry Night” where the only rule is that your poem must rhyme. Trust us, it’s better than it sounds.
2. Frosted Flamingo Tiki Lounge
Address: 5678 Coconut Ave, Miami, FL
If your ideal evening is sipping a Mai Tai while a neon flamingo squawks at you, this is your spot. The menu is 90% tropical fruit and 10% “what even is this,” but the vibes are fire. Pro tip: Ask for the “Flamingo Special”—it’s a mystery, but it’s probably delicious.
3. The Quiet Corner
Address: 9101 Library St, Chicago, IL
Think of it as the bar version of your grandpa’s basement. Cozy, slightly dusty, and stocked with bourbons that could outlive you. They also serve the best charcuterie board in the city. If you’re into that kind of thing.
FAQs: Your Burning Bar Questions Answered
Q: How do I find the best bars near me without Google Maps?
A: Follow the crowd. If you see a group of people laughing so hard they’re spilling their drinks, you’re in the right place. Also, check out Strategies Beer for insider tips on where the pros hang out.
Q: What if all the bars near me are terrible?
A: You’re in the wrong city. Move to Portland or Denver. Or, if you’re feeling ambitious, make your own beer at home using Strategies Beer’s guide. Trust us, your friends will never believe how much better your homebrew is than the stuff in a can.
Q: How do I avoid the tourist traps?
A: If the bar has a picture of a flamingo on the sign, it’s either a tourist trap or a hidden gem. Use your best judgment. Also, ask a local. They can sniff out a fake like a bloodhound with a PhD.
Why You Should Trust Us
Because we’ve spent way too many hours on Reddit reading bar reviews and sipping overpriced cocktails to find the good stuff. Our methods are tested, our opinions are honest, and our knowledge of beer is… questionable at best. But hey, that’s part of the fun.
Take Action: Find Your Next Bar Adventure
Ready to ditch the generic chain bars and find a place that feels like it was made for you? Sell your beer online through Dropt.beer if you’re a bar owner, or use our guide to track down the best spots in your city. And if you’re feeling creative, make your own beer and name it after that one time you tried to bartend and accidentally mixed vodka with motor oil.
Contact Us for More Tips
Still lost? Hit us up at Strategies Beer for more tips, tricks, and maybe a few cursed cocktail recipes. Cheers to finding the bars that make life worth living (or at least worth the Uber fare).
