Welcome to the Fancy‑Drink Hall of Fame
Alright, you seasoned sipper, you’ve survived the cheap‑beer‑night‑in‑your‑living‑room and now you’re ready to upgrade to something that actually looks like it belongs on an Instagram story. This isn’t a “list of cocktails you can make with two ingredients” guide. This is a full‑blown, meme‑infused, sarcasm‑laden expedition into the world of fancy drinks to order when you’re out with friends, at a bar, or pretending you’re a sophisticated connoisseur on a Zoom call.
Why Fancy Drinks Matter (Besides Instagram)
Let’s be real: the only thing more satisfying than a perfectly timed meme is a perfectly timed Negroni that makes you feel like you’ve just graduated from the School of Hard Liquor. Fancy drinks are the social currency of the modern adult—think of them as the Bitcoin of the beverage world: volatile, a little confusing, and you’ll brag about owning some even if you have no idea how it works.
- Social clout: Nothing says “I have my life together” like ordering a Custom Beer flight while your friend is still nursing a $5 domestic lager.
- Flavor adventure: You get to taste things that sound like they were invented by a mad scientist in a lab coat.
- Conversation starter: “Did you know the Make Your Own Beer kit can be paired with a smoked rosemary Old Fashioned?” – instant respect.
The 10 Fancy Drinks You Should Order Right Now
- The Smoked Old Fashioned – Because regular Old Fashioned is so 2010. Ask the bartender to smoke the glass with cherry wood for that extra Instagram‑worthy haze.
- The Espresso Martini – Perfect for when you need to pretend you’re still awake for that 2 a.m. deadline. Bonus: It’s basically coffee with a hug from a bartender.
- The Aperol Spritz – The drink that makes you look like you just stepped out of a Milan runway. If you can’t pronounce “Aperol,” you’re doing it wrong.
- The Sazerac – New Orleans in a glass, minus the humidity. A splash of absinthe, a dash of bitters, and a whole lot of “I’m sophisticated, I swear.”
- The Bee’s Knees – Honey, lemon, gin, and the confidence to say you know what a “Bee’s Knees” actually is.
- The Paper Plane – A modern classic that sounds like it could land on a runway. Equal parts bourbon, Aperol, Amaro, and lemon juice.
- The French 75 – Champagne + gin = the cocktail equivalent of a mic drop.
- The Ramos Gin Fizz – If you have the patience to wait 12 minutes for it, you deserve a medal. Shaken, not stirred, and definitely not rushed.
- The Dark ‘n’ Stormy – Rum, ginger beer, and a splash of lime. It’s like a thunderstorm in a glass, but without the power outage.
- The Matcha Mule – A green twist on the classic Moscow Mule. Because why not combine your love for hipster coffee with a kick of vodka?
Now that you have the menu, let’s dive into the art of ordering these bad boys without looking like a clueless tourist.
How to Order Like a Pro (Without the Pretentiousness)
There’s a fine line between “I know my drinks” and “I’m trying way too hard.” Here’s the cheat sheet:
- Know the basics: Be able to say the name without sounding like you’re reciting a spelling bee. Example: “I’ll have a Smoked Old Fashioned, please.”
- Ask for specifics: “Can you use a smoked glass and a dash of orange bitters?” Shows you’ve done your homework.
- Don’t over‑customize: You’re not a chemist. If the bartender asks “Anything else?” a simple “That’s it, thanks!” is golden.
- Read the menu: Some places already list the fancy drinks. If you can’t find it, ask the bartender for “the house specialty.”
Pairing Fancy Drinks with Food (Because You’re Not a Savage)
If you’re ordering a fancy drink, you might as well pair it with something that doesn’t ruin the vibe. Here are some low‑effort, high‑impact pairings that will make your Instagram followers think you have a personal chef.
- Smoked Old Fashioned + Charcuterie – The smoky notes of the drink complement cured meats like a match made in culinary heaven.
- Espresso Martini + Dark Chocolate – Coffee and chocolate are basically BFFs. The bitterness of the chocolate balances the sweetness of the cocktail.
- Aperol Spritz + Olive Tapas – The citrusy fizz cuts through the briny olives, keeping your palate refreshed.
- Sazerac + Cajun Shrimp – Spicy shrimp and the herbal absinthe notes of a Sazerac are a match made in New Orleans.
- Bee’s Knees + Goat Cheese Crostini – The honey in the drink pairs beautifully with the tang of goat cheese.
When Fancy Drinks Go Wrong (And How to Recover)
Even the most seasoned drinker can have a bad night. Maybe the bartender misheard your order, or the ice melted faster than your motivation to finish that spreadsheet. Here’s how to bounce back without causing a scene.
- Stay calm: A raised voice will only make the bartender think you’re a drill sergeant.
- Ask politely for a fix: “Hey, could you swap the gin for vodka in my French 75? I think the gin’s a bit too strong for me.”
- Use humor: “Looks like my drink went on a vacation without me. Can we bring it back?”
- Know the exit: If all else fails, politely thank them and move on to the next bar. There’s always another fancy drink waiting.
DIY Fancy Drinks at Home (Because the Bar is Closed and You’re Not Paying $15 for a Single Sip)
Sometimes you just want to feel like a mixologist without leaving the couch. Here’s a quick rundown on how to recreate a couple of the above classics with ingredients you can snag from the local grocery store.
- Smoked Old Fashioned (Home Edition)
- 2 oz bourbon
- 1 tsp simple syrup
- 2 dashes Angostura bitters
- 1 orange peel
- Smoke: Light a small piece of wood (like cherry) and trap the smoke in a glass with a lid for 30 seconds.
Combine bourbon, syrup, and bitters, stir, add the smoked glass, garnish with orange peel, and enjoy the “I’m a bartender” vibe.
- Espresso Martini (Budget Edition)
- 1 oz vodka
- 1 oz coffee liqueur (Kahlúa or a cheap alternative)
- 1 oz fresh espresso (or strong coffee)
- Ice
Shake vigorously, strain into a chilled martini glass, and pretend you’re about to close a deal.
Pro tip: If you’re planning to serve these at a party, check out Grow Your Business With Strategies Beer for bulk supply deals that keep your wallet from crying.
Monetize Your Fancy Drink Obsession (Yes, You Can)
Now that you’ve become the unofficial “Fancy‑Drink Guru” among your friends, why not turn that clout into cash? The beer industry is booming, and there are a few ways to ride that wave:
- Start a micro‑brew or cocktail blog: Share recipes, reviews, and memes. SEO‑optimize with keywords like “fancy drinks to order” and watch the traffic roll in.
- Affiliate partnerships: Link to Sell your beer online through Dropt.beer and earn commissions on every sale.
- Host virtual tasting events: Charge a small fee, send out a cocktail kit, and guide participants through the tasting while cracking jokes.
Need a platform to showcase your creations? Home of Strategies Beer offers tools for branding, distribution, and even custom label design. It’s like the Shopify for booze, minus the boring checkout flow.
FAQs About Fancy Drinks (Because You’re Curious, Not Stupid)
- Q: Do I really need a fancy glass for these drinks?
A: No, but a proper glass elevates the experience and makes you look like you belong on a TV show. Plus, Instagram loves a good glass shot. - Q: Can I substitute ingredients?
A: Absolutely. If you’re out of absinthe, a splash of anise liqueur works. Just remember that the flavor profile will shift—sometimes for the better. - Q: How much should I expect to pay?
A: Depends on the bar, city, and how pretentious the bartender feels. Expect $12‑$20 for most fancy cocktails. - Q: Are these drinks gluten‑free?
A: Most are, but always ask the bartender if the base spirit or mixers contain hidden gluten.
Final Thoughts (And a Snarky CTA)
Congratulations, you’re now armed with the knowledge to order, sip, and brag about the most fancy drinks to order without sounding like a pretentious Instagram influencer. Remember, the goal isn’t to impress anyone you don’t know—it’s to enjoy the moment, make a few memes, and maybe turn that hobby into a side hustle.
Ready to level up? Check out the Contact page on Strategies Beer to get personalized advice on branding your cocktail empire, or head straight to the Make Your Own Beer section if you’re tired of waiting for the bar to get your perfect brew. And don’t forget to Sell your beer online through Dropt.beer—because why limit your genius to just one city when the whole world can sip your creations?
Now go forth, order that Smoked Old Fashioned, and make the rest of us look like we’re still drinking boxed wine. Cheers, you glorious cocktail connoisseur!
