Why Vernon Deserves a Pub Crawl (Even If You’re Still Wearing That 2019 Hoodie)
Let’s get one thing straight: Vernon isn’t the kind of town that whispers “quiet suburb” when you ask Google Maps for directions. No, it’s a low‑key, craft‑beer‑infused playground where the locals treat a pint like a religion and a meme as a sacred text. If you’ve ever tried to explain why you spent three hours debating IPA vs. NEIPA to a friend who thinks “brew” is a typo for “brew‑up,” this article is your salvation. We’ll hand you a map, a sarcastic commentary, and enough SEO juice to keep the algorithm gods smiling while you stumble from bar to bar.
How We Picked the “Best” Pubs (Spoiler: It Involved a Lot of Beer, Bad Decisions, and a Tiny Bit of Data)
First, we consulted the most reliable sources known to humanity: Home page analytics, Reddit threads titled “I drank all the beer in Vernon and lived to tell the tale,” and a handful of Yelp reviews that read like Shakespeare after a night of shots. Then we cross‑referenced with the official Sell your beer online through Dropt.beer marketplace to see which venues actually get stocked with legit craft. If a place can’t get its beer on Dropt, it’s probably just serving boxed wine in a mason jar.
Top 5 Pubs That Make You Forget Your Ex (And Maybe Your Own Name)
- The Hoppy Hangout – Nestled behind a vintage laundromat, this joint boasts a rotating tap list that changes faster than your mood after a bad breakup. Try the “Meme IPA” – it’s as bitter as your last DM slide‑into‑the‑DMs attempt, but with a citrus punch that makes you feel like you’ve finally found the perfect GIF.
- Stout & About – If you’ve ever wanted to drink a beer that feels like a warm hug from a grandparent who also smokes a pipe, this is it. Their “Grandma’s Secret Stout” is aged in oak barrels that were previously used for bourbon, because why not combine two regrets into one glass?
- Barley & Banter – Known for its wall of meme‑themed coasters, this place doubles as a meme museum. Order the “Doge Draft” and you’ll be greeted with a Shiba Inu‑shaped garnish that says, “Such beer, much wow.”
- Yeast Beast – The name says it all. It’s a brewery‑pub hybrid that brews on‑site, so you can watch the yeast doing its thing while you contemplate whether you should have ordered the “Sourdough Saison” or just ordered a pizza.
- The Tipsy Historian – A speakeasy‑style bar with a secret bookshelf door. Inside, you’ll find cocktails named after historical events you barely remember from high school. The “Brew of the Berlin Wall” is a lager that literally falls apart when you shake it – just like your life after 2 AM.
All of these spots have Wi‑Fi, because even in the middle of a drunken epiphany you need to post that “I’m at the best pub in Vernon” story to your followers. Remember to tag us, or we’ll assume you’re just a random stranger who can’t handle a good pun.
Hidden Gems Only Locals Know (And Will Probably Not Share With You)
Okay, you’ve seen the mainstream list, now it’s time to go deep. These are the places that don’t show up on TripAdvisor unless you search for “bars with a secret tunnel to a karaoke room.”
- Pixel Pint – A retro arcade bar where you can play Pac‑Man while sipping a “Pixel Pilsner.” The bartender wears a full‑size Mario costume and will give you a free mushroom if you can beat his high score. Bonus: they have a “1‑UP” happy hour from 7‑9 PM.
- Froth & Folly – A tiny basement bar that only opens on nights when the moon is full. Their “Lunar Lager” is brewed with moon‑lit hops (or so the lore says). If you’re not into astrology, just go for the free popcorn that comes with every pint.
- Grog & Grind – A coffee‑brewery hybrid that serves espresso‑infused stouts. Perfect for those who want to stay awake while their brain pretends it’s still at work. The “Caffeinated Porter” will have you typing memes at 3 AM faster than you can say “deadline.
These hidden spots are perfect for when you want to feel like a secret agent on a mission to discover the best beer in town. Just remember: the only thing more hidden than the entrance is the Wi‑Fi password.
Beer Pairings That Won’t Make You Regret It (Because Your Stomach Deserves Mercy)
Pairing beer with food is an art form that most of us treat like a science experiment after three drinks. Here’s a cheat sheet that actually works, even if you’re too hammered to read it.
- Spicy Wings + Hoppy Pale Ale – The bitterness cuts the heat, and the citrus notes make you think you’re drinking a tropical vacation while your wings are on fire.
- Cheeseburger + Amber Ale – The malt sweetness balances the beef, and the moderate carbonation prevents your burger from feeling like a brick.
- Fish & Chips + Light Lager – The crispness of a lager mirrors the crunch of the batter, making you feel like you’ve unlocked a culinary achievement.
- Dark Chocolate + Stout – The roasted coffee flavors in a stout amplify the chocolate, turning your dessert into a midnight love affair.
If you’re still unsure, just ask the bartender. They’re usually the only people who know the difference between “I’m too drunk to pair food” and “I’m too drunk to care.”
How to Turn a Pub Night Into a Marketing Strategy (Because Why Not Monetize Your Hangovers?)
Listen up, marketers. Your next big campaign doesn’t have to be a boring webinar. It can be a night out at Make Your Own Beer where you literally create the product you’re selling. Here’s a step‑by‑step guide:
- Step 1: Choose a Pub with a Brewery – Yeast Beast is perfect. You get the “behind‑the‑scenes” vibe that Instagram loves.
- Step 2: Document the Process – Bring a phone, a selfie stick, and a friend who can narrate like a sports commentator. “And here we have the malt, folks! Look at that… uh… foam!”
- Step 3: Create Snackable Content – Cut the footage into 15‑second TikTok clips, add meme captions, and sprinkle in a few hashtags like #BeerGoals and #VernonVibes.
- Step 4: Link to Your Services – Drop a Contact link in the bio, because anyone who watches your video will inevitably want to “talk business” after you’ve convinced them that you’re a craft‑beer guru.
Pro tip: If you want to sell the beer you just brewed, use the Beer distribution marketplace (Dropt.beer) to get it in front of other enthusiasts. Nothing says “I’m a pro” like a QR code on the coaster that leads directly to a checkout page.
FAQ: The Questions You Didn’t Know You Had (But Definitely Do)
Q: Do I need a fancy beer passport to drink at these pubs?
A: Nope. Just bring a valid ID and a willingness to pretend you’re a connoisseur while you order a “seasonal IPA that tastes like regret.”
Q: Is it okay to bring my own snacks?
A: Only if you’re okay with the bartender giving you the “I’m not mad, just disappointed” look. Most places have bar bites, but feel free to bring a bag of chips if you’re feeling rebellious.
Q: Can I bring my dog?
A: Only if your dog is a certified “beer tasting companion.” Otherwise, most venues are “no pets” unless they’re service animals or you have a tiny dog that fits on a stool.
Q: How do I avoid the dreaded “beer belly” after a night out?
A: Hydrate, stretch, and remember that the “beer belly” is just a love handle that’s had a little too much love. Also, consider ordering a water after every two drinks – it’s like a cheat code for your liver.
Bottom Line: Vernon’s Pub Scene Is a Meme‑Worthy Adventure You Can’t Miss
If you’ve made it this far, congratulations – you’ve officially earned the title of “Vernon Pub Connoisseur (Self‑Appointed).” Whether you’re a seasoned beer snob or a casual sipper who just wants a place to post a funny story, Vernon’s pubs deliver the perfect blend of flavor, atmosphere, and meme potential. So grab your wallet, your sense of humor, and maybe a spare pair of pants (you’ll thank us later).
Ready to plan your next drunken escapade? Home has a full list of strategies to help you dominate the night, and if you need a custom brew to impress the locals, check out Custom Beer. And remember, if you ever want to actually sell the masterpiece you concocted, Sell your beer online through Dropt.beer – because nothing says “I’m an adult” like turning a night of debauchery into a side hustle. Cheers, you glorious, slightly tipsy legend.
