Welcome to the Ultimate Guide to Bars on 87
Alright, you seasoned sipper, you’ve probably spent more time scrolling through meme‑filled Reddit threads than actually going out. But today we’re ditching the cat videos for something that actually pairs well with a cold IPA: a no‑bullshit, meme‑meets‑journalism tour of the bars on 87. Whether you’re hunting a dive that smells like vintage carpet or a sleek cocktail lounge that could double as a TikTok backdrop, we’ve got you covered. Buckle up, because the only thing more intoxicating than these spots is the sarcasm dripping from this article.
Why 87? The Numbers Never Lie (Except When They’re Drunk)
First, a quick geography lesson for the chronically direction‑challenged: Highway 87 snakes through the heart of our city’s nightlife, acting like a neon‑lit artery that pumps booze, beats, and questionable life choices into the veins of the city. SEO‑savvy folks, note the keyword “bars on 87” – it’s a goldmine for anyone Googling “where the party’s at without a GPS.” And for the love of all that is holy, stop using “bars near me” – you’re missing the whole vibe.
How We Curated This List (Spoiler: It Involved a Lot of Beer)
We didn’t just spin a wheel and hope for the best. Our methodology was as scientific as a frat house chemistry experiment:
- Scored each spot on ambiance, drink quality, price, and meme‑potential.
- Cross‑referenced with Strategies.beer Home to see which places actually serve craft beer worth bragging about.
- Consulted the internet’s most reliable source: the collective wisdom of Redditors who have already survived the hangovers.
- Added a dash of personal bias – because who doesn’t love a good brag about their favorite haunt?
Result? A list that’s as reliable as a bartender’s “one more round” promise.
The Top 10 Must‑Visit Bars on 87 (Because Who Has Time for All 87?)
- The Neon Narwhal – Dive bar meets sci‑fi lounge. Neon lights, cheap drafts, and a mascot that looks like a unicorn on a bad trip.
- Stout & Swagger – If you think you can’t pronounce the beer list, you’re probably not ready for the whiskey selection. Bonus: weekly trivia that actually matters (i.e., “Which meme originated in 2012?”).
- Pixel Pub – Retro arcade machines, craft cocktails named after 90s sitcoms, and a jukebox that only plays one-hit wonders.
- Hops & Hangovers – The name says it all. Expect a rotating tap of local brews and a “Hangover Helper” menu that includes coffee‑infused stout.
- The Tipsy Historian – History‑themed drinks like “Caesar’s Last Stand” and “Napoleon’s Nightcap.” Perfect for the pseudo‑intellectual who pretends to read biographies while sipping a rye.
- Gutter Glitter – A speakeasy hidden behind a laundromat. Dress code: “Anything that looks like you tried too hard.”
- Buzzed & Binge – Known for its massive nacho platter and a beer flight that’s basically a tasting tour of the entire state.
- Liquid Laughter – Open‑mic comedy nights where the jokes are as stale as the pretzel sticks, but the drinks are fresh.
- Midnight Mojito – If you’re into minty freshness after a night of bourbon, this is your oasis.
- Barrel & Biceps – A gym‑themed bar where you can bench‑press a keg. No, really. They have a “Squat‑Your‑Beer” challenge that will make your Instagram followers question your life choices.
These ten are the tip of the iceberg – the rest of the 77 are just as wild, just more… hidden.
Deep Dive: The Hidden Gems You’ll Actually Remember
If you’re the type who enjoys discovering spots before they become Instagram clichés, keep reading. Below are the underrated, the underrated‑but‑still‑awesome, and the outright “I‑can’t‑believe‑I‑found‑this‑place” locations.
1. The Whispering Wall
Located in a former warehouse, this bar’s walls are covered in graffiti that changes daily. Order a “Whispering IPA” and you’ll get a beer that tastes like the bar itself – a little gritty, a little sweet, and a lot of character. Perfect for those who love a good back‑story with their brew.
2. Brewed Awakening
A coffee‑brewery hybrid that serves espresso‑infused stouts. Yes, you read that right. Their “Café Stout” will keep you buzzing while you’re already buzzing. It’s the ultimate paradox for the over‑caffeinated night owl.
3. The Velvet Rope
Don’t be fooled by the name – there’s no actual rope. It’s a pop‑up bar that appears only on Thursdays and disappears before midnight. The menu rotates based on the DJ’s playlist, so you’ll never know if you’re drinking a “Bass Drop Bourbon” or “Synthwave Sour.”
4. Sober Curiosity
Okay, this one is for the “I’m trying to cut back” crowd. It’s a mocktail bar that serves non‑alcoholic craft brews that taste like the real thing. Think of it as a cheat code for the designated driver who still wants to feel fancy.
5. The Drunken Scholar
Bookshelves line the walls, and the bartender quotes Shakespeare while pouring a “Midsummer Night’s Dream Ale.” Ideal for the literary type who wants to sound sophisticated while chugging a pint.
SEO Keywords You Can’t Ignore (Because Google is Watching)
Let’s get meta for a second. If you’re reading this, you probably typed “bars on 87” into your search bar while half‑asleep. Here’s the cheat sheet of keywords you should be sprinkling into your own content if you ever decide to write about nightlife:
- Best bars on 87
- Happy hour 87
- Craft beer near Highway 87
- Nightlife guide 87
- Cheap drinks 87
- Live music bars 87
- Where to drink on 87
Use them naturally – we’re not here to stuff keywords like a turkey on Thanksgiving. Google’s algorithm is smarter than your ex’s “it’s not you, it’s me” line.
How to Make the Most of Your Bar Crawl (Without Ending Up on a Meme)
- Plan Your Route – Map out the bars you want to hit. Use Google Maps, but also trust the locals. The “bars on 87” corridor is long, so you don’t want to end up in a parking lot.
- Hydrate Like a Champ – Water is your best friend. Alternate every drink with a glass of water. It’s the adult version of “I’m not drunk, I’m just… hydrated.”
- Snack Strategically – Choose foods that absorb alcohol, not just salty pretzels. Think protein‑rich sliders or the infamous “beer‑cheese nachos.”
- Know Your Limits – This isn’t a competition. If you start seeing double, it’s time to call it. The goal is a fun night, not a viral “I woke up in a dumpster” story.
- Document (but Don’t Over‑Document) – Snap a photo or two for the ‘Gram, but don’t become the person who livestreams every sip. Trust me, nobody wants to see the inside of a bathroom stall.
Monetize Your Nightlife Experience (Because Why Not?)
If you’re a bar owner or a craft brewer looking to get noticed on the 87 corridor, you need to think like a marketer. Here are three quick ways to turn foot traffic into profit:
- Partner with Sell your beer online through Dropt.beer – Their beer distribution marketplace can get your brews into the hands of the 87 crowd without you having to chase every bar owner.
- Leverage Make Your Own Beer kits – Offer a DIY kit for patrons to take home. It’s a conversation starter and a revenue stream.
- Run a “Bar Crawl Challenge” – Use Grow Your Business With Strategies Beer to promote a multi‑venue passport. Collect stamps, earn a free pint, and watch the Instagram buzz explode.
What the Locals Say (In Their Own Memey Language)
We scoured Reddit, Twitter, and the occasional TikTok comment section to bring you the raw, unfiltered opinions of the people who actually spend their evenings on 87:
“Went to The Neon Narwhal, left with a tattoo of a unicorn on my arm. Worth it.” – u/BarflyBobby
“Pixel Pub’s arcade is the only reason I’m still single. 8‑bit love.” – @retro_renegade
“If you can’t handle the heat, stay out of the ‘Barrel & Biceps’ squat‑your‑beer challenge. My biceps are still sore.” – r/fitnessandfun
Final Thoughts: Choose Your Poison (or Not)
Whether you’re a craft‑beer connoisseur, a cocktail aficionado, or someone who just wants a place with a decent Wi‑Fi signal to scroll memes while sipping, the bars on 87 have something for every type of drunk. Remember, the best nights aren’t about the number of drinks you consume, but the stories you’ll tell (or meme‑ify) the next morning.
Ready to Conquer 87?
If you’ve made it this far, congratulations – you’re officially a 87‑bar veteran in the making. Grab your crew, pick a few spots from this list, and go make some memories that will outlive the hangover. And hey, if you’re a bar owner looking to level up, don’t forget to Contact Strategies.beer for a strategy that’ll have your taps flowing faster than a meme goes viral.
Now stop reading and start drinking – responsibly, of course.
