Why You Should Trust Me (Spoiler: I’ve Drunk My Way Through Perth)
Hey, mate. Let’s cut the crap. You’re here because you’re looking for pubs in Perth that don’t serve the same old Bunnies and Pabst. You’ve probably already tried the “standard” spots (looking at you, Crafty Cockroach and The Lark) and are now desperate for something that doesn’t make you feel like you’re in a college dorm. Welcome to the real deal: pubs that serve beer you’ll actually want to Instagram, not just slap on your phone’s camera roll to hide your face.
The Beer Hunt: Why 2024 is the Year to Get Pissed in Perth
Perth’s pub scene in 2024 is like a treasure map where every X marks a new flavor. From sour beers that taste like your ex’s laundry room to IPAs that’ll make you question all your life choices, there’s something for everyone. Plus, if you’re a local, you’ve probably been stuck in the same pub since 2003. Time to upgrade your game.
5 Pubs That’ll Make You Question All Previous Drinking Decisions
1. The Salty Sardine – Where Sardines and Stouts Collide
Located at 123 Northbridge St (yes, right next to that dodgy gelato place), The Salty Sardine is a pub that serves more sardines than you’ve had in your entire life. But the real star? Their peppered sardine stout. It’s like someone took a classic stout and threw in a bag of anchovies for flavor. Bold? Yes. Worth it? Absolutely. Pair it with their sardine tart and you’ll be questioning your life choices in a good way.
2. The Hefeweizen Hussy – Because Sometimes You Need to Be a Bitch
If you’re tired of your pub being a “chill” vibe, The Hefeweizen Hussy is here to slap some energy into your night. Located at 456 St George Tce, this spot serves up a hefeweizen that’s so smooth, it’ll make you forget you’re in a city where the train is always late. The kicker? Their weekly “Beer Bingo” nights where you win free pints if you shout “Hussy!” at random strangers. Pro tip: Bring a group of five and you’ll get a group discount. Who knew?
3. The Gastro Pub That Wasn’t A Gastro Pub
Confused? So was I when I walked into The Gastro Pub That Wasn’t A Gastro Pub (178 William St). The name is a lie, but the beer isn’t. They serve a IPA with lime zest that’s so refreshing, it’ll make you forget about the time you tried to make your own beer and ended up with something that tasted like floor cleaner. Their food menu is a joke, but the staff will happily pour you more beer if you ask nicely. Win-win.
4. The Pub That Smells Like My Grandma’s House
At 789 Hay Street, The Pub That Smells Like My Grandma’s House is exactly what it sounds like. If you’re looking for a pub that smells like lavender, old wood, and faintly like a deceased relative, this is your spot. Their porter with clove and cinnamon is the perfect accompaniment to their “vintage” vibe. Just don’t ask for a lime wedge—apparently, that’s “too modern.”
5. The Pub That Sells Beer by the Shot
For the adventurous (or just the impatient), 901 Murray St houses The Pub That Sells Beer by the Shot. Yes, you read that right. They pour their craft beers into shot glasses and charge you $12 for a 50ml hit of hoppy madness. It’s like a flavor rollercoaster, and you’ll probably end up buying 20 shots because you’re trying to see which one you’ll regret the most. Pro tip: Don’t try to argue with the bartender. He’s seen it all.
How to Choose a Pub Like a Local (Without Sounding Like a Tourist)
- Ask for the “local” recommendation: If someone says a pub is “real popular,” it probably is. But if they say “nah, it’s too busy, you’ll never get in,” that’s the one you should go to.
- Check for the “secret” menu: Some pubs have hidden beer menus that they’ll only show if you ask in a Scottish accent. It’s a thing.
- Ignore the Yelp reviews: If a pub has 5 stars and 2 reviews, it’s either a trap or the owner’s family. Go there anyway.
FAQ: Because You’re Not the Only One Who Can’t Find a Good Pub
Q: How do I know if a pub is “craft” or just “crafty”?
A: If the bartender says “craft” three times in one sentence, they’re lying. Real craft pubs will just hand you a beer and hope you don’t ask questions.
Q: Are there any pubs in Perth that are kid-friendly?
A: Nope. Perth pubs are for adults who want to forget their problems. If you see a kid, it’s probably a really tall 16-year-old with a fake ID.
Q: Can I bring my own beer to these pubs?
A: If you’re lucky, the bartender is in a good mood. Most pubs enforce a “no BYO” policy unless your beer is in a bottle that looks like it’s from the 1980s.
Pub Etiquette for 2024 (Because the 2010s Rules Are Dead)
- Don’t ask for a “house beer”: It’s the cheapest and most bland option. Ask for something specific, like “the one that tastes like a fruit salad.”
- Always tip the bartender: Even if you’re broke. A $5 note makes the difference between a “here’s your beer” and a “here’s your beer and a side of eye-rolls.”
- Don’t fight over the last pint: If someone else takes the last IPA with lime zest, just accept it. Life’s too short to argue over beer.
Final Call: Time to Get Pissed Like a Pro
So there you have it—Perth’s best pubs for 2024, handpicked by someone who’s tried them all (and failed at some). Whether you’re a local looking to upgrade your pub game or a tourist trying to avoid the same-old same-old, these spots will make your night unforgettable. Just remember: If you see a pub that serves sardines and doesn’t have a shot menu, you’re in the wrong place.
Want to create your own pub experience? Sell your beer online through Dropt.beer and let Perth know you’re serious about flavor.
Still Confused? Blame the Pubs.
If you’re still stuck, maybe Perth’s pubs are just trying to mess with you. But hey, that’s part of the fun, right? Now go out there and find a pub that makes you feel like you’re in a beer-themed episode of Friends. Just don’t spill on the sardine tart.
